Snarky Brides

I can't even...Engagement Party Drama

Sorry Knotties, but I guess my first post is going to have to be a rant. I'm not usually one to complain, but this is just ridiculous. PS...Would love to hear anyone's feedback on how to handle this situation.

A Little Background: We just got engaged a few weeks ago, and set our date for September 28th, 2013. Because we live in Chicago, and want a downtown wedding, and because our guest list is going to be 300+, we had to get into wedding mode right away. Our date is set, ceremony and reception venues booked, etc. 

How It All Started: My FI's best friend is on active duty in the military, and will be on his last leave in July, before he returns to Germany for a year without leave, and comes back about a month before the wedding. We thought it would be great if we could do an engagement party while he was in town so that he could be here, but he was limited to a certain weekend.

He was planning to visit us while he was on leave anyway, so he made the plans to come up with their other best friend (who had to take off work) for the weekend he could get away. My FI also told a few other close friends that we were hoping to have an engagement party that day, in hopes that telling them 2 months in advance would give them enough time to collect enough $/take off work/make transportation plans to get here. (They all live in the Kentucky area, about 7-9 hours drive from CHI)

While some of this may have been a little presumptious on our part, the main issue is that my FI's best friend could not come on another weekend due to his leave schedule and other plans to see family, etc.  

The Issue: Because we were scheduling this 2 months in advance, I didn't think it would be a problem when I asked my parents for a specific date. Not to mention, I had brought it up to my mother in passing on several occasions, without a word to the contrary, AND there was nothing on my family's shared calendar that indicated that they would be out of town/traveling/unavailable. So imagine my surprise when I called my father to confirm the date, and he replied with "Well, I have to say...there was a golf tournament in California I wanted to play in that day." 

Bottom Line: My family is willing to sacrifice having my FI's closest friends at our engagement party because they want to take a vacation that they hadn't actually started planning yet. 

I'm just really disappointed in my family. My FI is not at all high maintenance, and doesn't ask for much. He really just wants his best friend who he only has gotten to see a few times in the last few years at the party. After all, they had no plane tickets, had not signed up for the tournament, had not put it on their calendar. As far as I know, the only planning they had done for this trip had been to mention it in passing to friends.  I don't think it's too much to ask for them to forego a golf tournament to honor this wish...

Am I being a bridezilla?
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Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama

  • Just don't have an E Party. No biggie. 
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  • That was long.

    You shouldn't be planning your own E-party anyway.
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    You're throwing your own engagement party?  No.
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  • edited May 2012
    In Response to Re:I can't even...Engagement Party Drama:Sorry Knotties, but I guess my first post is going to have to be a rant. I'm not usually one to complain, but this is just ridiculous. PS...Would love to hear anyone's feedback on how to handle this situation.A Little Background: We just got engaged a few weeks ago, and set our date for September 28th, 2013. Because we live in Chicago, and want a downtown wedding, and because our guest list is going to be 300, we had to get into wedding mode right away. Our date is set, ceremony and reception venues booked, etc.nbsp;How It All Started: My FI's best friend is on active duty in the military, and will be on his last leave in July, before he returns to Germany for a year without leave, and comes back about a month before the wedding. We thought it would be great if we could do an engagement party while he was in town so that he could be here, but he was limited to a certain weekend.He was planning to visit us while he was on leave anyway, so he made the plans to come up with their other best friend who had to take off work for the weekend he could get away. My FI also told a few other close friends that we were hoping to have an engagement party that day, in hopes that telling them 2 months in advance would give them enough time to collect enough /take off work/make transportation plans to get here. They all live in the Kentucky area, about 79 hours drive from CHIWhile some of this may have been a little presumptious on our part, the main issue is that my FI's best friend could not come on another weekend due to his leave schedule and other plans to see family, etc. nbsp;The Issue: Because we were scheduling this 2 months in advance, I didn't think it would be a problem when I asked my parents for a specific date. Not to mention, I had brought it up to my mother in passing on several occasions, without a word to the contrary, AND there was nothing on my family's shared calendar that indicated that they would be out of town/traveling/unavailable. So imagine my surprise when I called my father to confirm the date, and he replied with "Well, I have to say...there was a golf tournament in California I wanted to play in that day."nbsp;Bottom Line: My family is willing to sacrifice having my FI's closest friends at our engagement party because they want to take a vacation that they hadn't actually started planning yet.nbsp;I'm just really disappointed in my family. My FI is not at all high maintenance, and doesn't ask for much. He really just wants his best friend who he only has gotten to see a few times in the last few years at the party. After all, they had no plane tickets, had not signed up for the tournament, had not put it on their calendar. As far as I know, the only planning they had done for this trip had been to mention it in passing to friends. nbsp;I don't think it's too much to ask for them to forego a golf tournament to honor this wish...Am I being a bridezilla? Posted by christi.mayo I don't understand why you're planning your own engagement party. That is something that should be offered and Not demanded or expected. ETA: fixing autocorrect.
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  • CORRECTION: Sorry guys... I am not hosting my own engagmeent party, nor am I planning it. My parents offered to host one for us, and are planning it, and asked me to pick a date that worked for me and FI. 
  • In Response to Re:I can't even...Engagement Party Drama:[QUOTE]CORRECTION: Sorry guys... I am not hosting my own engagmeent party, nor am I planning it. My parents offered to host one for us, and are planning it, and asked me to pick a date that worked for me and FI.nbsp; Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]

    If they asked you for a date that works for you then I would be a little frustrated, but if they aren't willing to move their vacation there isn't much you can do. Did you explain why you wanted it that day?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:db1e3ecb-f466-4514-92d0-86963007ecd7">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]CORRECTION: Sorry guys... I am not hosting my own engagmeent party, nor am I planning it. My parents offered to host one for us, and are planning it, and asked me to pick a date that worked for me and FI. 
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
    So they are hosting the party, but didn't know when they were hosting?<div>Why didn't you put your party on the family shared calendar if that's the place to check for important dates?</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:db1e3ecb-f466-4514-92d0-86963007ecd7">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]CORRECTION: Sorry guys... I am not hosting my own engagmeent party, nor am I planning it. My parents offered to host one for us, and are planning it, and <strong>asked me to pick a date that worked for me and FI. </strong>
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]

    Okay, so pick one then.  If not every single person that you want to attend can make it, the world will keep turning.  I promise.  Attendance at engagement party is not required for one to also be at the wedding.  If your FI's friend can't make it because of his deployment, then that is life.  Sometimes its not fair, or ideal.  But you can't win them all.  Deal with it and move on.
    panther
  • I don't care who hosts the engagement party, don't really see the big deal. But if your parents are hosting, then they should have known the date all along, no? Sounds like they either forgot or aren't all that interested in hosting.

    Why don't you just have your friends come over for a regular party? You still get to see them, and don't have to worry about your parents.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:eb91981d-e1c7-45bd-97ec-5dee379cd843">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : So they are hosting the party, but didn't know when they were hosting? Why didn't you put your party on the family shared calendar if that's the place to check for important dates?
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>That's correct. We are newly engaged, and with our hectic calendars, they asked for a few dates that would work for us before they started planning invites/catering/etc. Is it really that uncommon that the bride and the groom get a say in when the e-party takes place? Were we supposed to be surprised? I'm a little confused. </div><div>
    </div><div>The only things that go on the shared calendar are dates that are locked in. I.E. if you make plane/hotel reservations, have an event you have RSVPed to, etc...not tentative dates. </div><div>
    </div><div>I understand there's not much I can do, but I did explain my reasoning to my parents and I'm just upset that they aren't willing to be flexible with their plans for something that's very meaningful to us.</div><div>
    </div><div>I guess I was just looking for a little support from fellow Knotties...a little surprised at how vicious everyone was in the beginning! Will think twice before posting again.

    </div>
  • LP11509LP11509 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:db1e3ecb-f466-4514-92d0-86963007ecd7">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]CORRECTION: Sorry guys... I am not hosting my own engagmeent party, nor am I planning it. My parents offered to host one for us, and are planning it, and asked me to pick a date that worked for me and FI. 
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]

    <div>I get that they asked you to pick a date. But it's pretty basic common sense to check with the hosts of the party BEFORE telling everyone else when it is.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:ea29a2a2-9d04-4f1a-bbab-eb6b05e112c7">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : That's correct. We are newly engaged, and with our hectic calendars, they asked for a few dates that would work for us before they started planning invites/catering/etc. Is it really that uncommon that the bride and the groom get a say in when the e-party takes place? Were we supposed to be surprised? I'm a little confused.  The only things that go on the shared calendar are dates that are locked in. I.E. if you make plane/hotel reservations, have an event you have RSVPed to, etc...not tentative dates.  I understand there's not much I can do, but I did explain my reasoning to my parents and I'm just upset that they aren't willing to be flexible with their plans for something that's very meaningful to us. I guess I was just looking for a little support from fellow Knotties...a little surprised at how vicious everyone was in the beginning! Will think twice before posting again.
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]
    I guess I'm confused, it was just a tentative date? So really if you hadn't ironed out the details and picked a certain date, you can't be too mad if something else came up. <div>
    </div><div>Honestly, e-parties aren't really a big deal, at least with folks in my circle. We were offered one, and declined. It's just not something I get all excited over. I figured people were going to celebrate our awesomeness enough at the wedding, they didn't need to travel and make a huge to do over it twice. </div><div>
    </div><div>As far as the vicious comment, if you think that asking you a question was vicious, then you might be a little too sensitive for this type of environment. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:ea29a2a2-9d04-4f1a-bbab-eb6b05e112c7">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : That's correct. We are newly engaged, and with our hectic calendars, they asked for a few dates that would work for us before they started planning invites/catering/etc. Is it really that uncommon that the bride and the groom get a say in when the e-party takes place? Were we supposed to be surprised? I'm a little confused.  The only things that go on the shared calendar are dates that are locked in. I.E. if you make plane/hotel reservations, have an event you have RSVPed to, etc...not tentative dates.  I understand there's not much I can do, but I did explain my reasoning to my parents and I'm just upset that they aren't willing to be flexible with their plans for something that's very meaningful to us.<strong> I guess I was just looking for a little support from fellow Knotties...a little surprised at how vicious everyone was in the beginning! Will think twice before posting again.
    </strong>Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]

    Well, your initial story looked like you were hosting your own engagement party, and that's severely against etiquette.

    Also, no one was vicious.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:ea29a2a2-9d04-4f1a-bbab-eb6b05e112c7">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : That's correct. We are newly engaged, and with our hectic calendars, they asked for a few dates that would work for us before they started planning invites/catering/etc. Is it really that uncommon that the bride and the groom get a say in when the e-party takes place? Were we supposed to be surprised? I'm a little confused.  The only things that go on the shared calendar are dates that are locked in. I.E. if you make plane/hotel reservations, have an event you have RSVPed to, etc...not tentative dates.  I understand there's not much I can do, but I did explain my reasoning to my parents and I'm just upset that they aren't willing to be flexible with their plans for something that's very meaningful to us. I guess I was just looking for a little support from fellow Knotties...<strong>a little surprised at how vicious everyone was in the beginning! Will think twice before posting again.</strong>
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>No one was vicious.  People here will be completely honest in what they think.  You were expecting for everyone to validate your feelings, but if we don't agree, that won't happen. Like I said before, it sucks and I'd probably be a little frustrated, but there isn't anything that we/you can do, so just go with it.    

    </div>
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  • Make it two separate events.  Have your friend(s) come up for their weekend and hang out.  I think that would be more fun that way.  Your parents can plan the e-party for a different date.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:b1ce8c2b-5873-49de-abe5-424acbc4a661">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : No one was vicious.  People here will be completely honest in what they think. <strong> You were expecting for everyone to validate your feelings, but if we don't agree, that won't happen</strong>. Like I said before, it sucks and I'd probably be a little frustrated, but there isn't anything that we/you can do, so just go with it.    
    Posted by brandichamberlain[/QUOTE]

    <div>Fair enough. As I mentioned, I'm really new to being engaged and not used to thinking about things as objectively as some of the more experienced posters might be. Plus, when you're in the situation and not evaluating it, it can often feel different/a bigger deal than it actually is. So maybe I'm overreacting.</div><div>
    </div><div>I think we will go the route that PP suggested and just have a party and invite our friends, and forego the e-party all together. I don't want to disappoint my parents but some of the bridal party (as previously mentioned) is from out of town, and I don't want them to be asked to come up twice (once for a party we're having, once for an e-party my parents throw). </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:8992abd1-4cfc-4154-9eb6-bd6233f44c77">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: <strong>I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : Fair enough. As I mentioned, I'm really new to being engaged and not used to thinking about things as objectively as some of the more experienced posters might be. Plus, when you're in the situation and not evaluating it, it can often feel different/a bigger deal than it actually is. So maybe I'm overreacting. </strong>I think we will go the route that PP suggested and just have a party and invite our friends, and forego the e-party all together. I don't want to disappoint my parents but some of the bridal party (as previously mentioned) is from out of town, and I don't want them to be asked to come up twice (once for a party we're having, once for an e-party my parents throw). 
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]


    Here is the thing- having the sense to realize that you shouldn't invite guests before you tell the hosts the party date has NOTHING to do with how long you've been engaged. This is not a wedding thing- it's a common courtesy thing.

    And as for the responses you got- honestly, what would you prefer- that we blow smoke up your behind just to make you feel good or that we be honest with you so that you don't continue thinking you are in the right here. You made a mistake inviting people and your parents are making the mistake of being insensitive to your fiance. It's done. Instead of stressing over nothing, have your friends over and relax.

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  • jcg98jcg98 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2012
    Also, at this point I wouldn't decline your parents' generous offer of an e party, you run the risk of sounding ungrateful, i.e. "if you won't do it on the date I want, then I don't want it at all!" The OOT BP members do not have to attend both your party AND your parents' e party. Being in the BP doesn't constitute a summons to all wedding related events. While they should certainly be invited, they don't have to attend. Pick a date that mutually works for you and your FI, AND your parents. Edited for clarity.
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  • I've heard many things but I haven't hear vicious yet... I'm going to roll with that one.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:70ef5b0f-30c6-4a06-a1db-e279ab89a0aa">I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry Knotties, but I guess my first post is going to have to be a rant. I'm not usually one to complain, but this is just ridiculous. PS...Would love to hear anyone's feedback on how to handle this situation. A Little Background: We just got engaged a few weeks ago, and set our date for September 28th, 2013. Because we live in Chicago, and want a downtown wedding, and because our guest list is going to be 300+, we had to get into wedding mode right away. Our date is set, ceremony and reception venues booked, etc.  How It All Started: My FI's best friend is on active duty in the military, and will be on his last leave in July, before he returns to Germany for a year without leave, and comes back about a month before the wedding. We thought it would be great if we could do an engagement party while he was in town so that he could be here, but he was limited to a certain weekend. He was planning to visit us while he was on leave anyway, so he made the plans to come up with their other best friend (who had to take off work) for the weekend he could get away. My FI also told a few other close friends that we were hoping to have an engagement party that day, in hopes that telling them 2 months in advance would give them enough time to collect enough $/take off work/make transportation plans to get here. (They all live in the Kentucky area, about 7-9 hours drive from CHI) While some of this may have been a little presumptious on our part, the main issue is that my FI's best friend could not come on another weekend due to his leave schedule and other plans to see family, etc.   The Issue: Because we were scheduling this 2 months in advance, I didn't think it would be a problem when I asked my parents for a specific date. Not to mention, I had brought it up to my mother in passing on several occasions, without a word to the contrary, AND there was nothing on my family's shared calendar that indicated that they would be out of town/traveling/unavailable. So imagine my surprise when I called my father to confirm the date, and he replied with "Well, I have to say...there was a golf tournament in California I wanted to play in that day."  Bottom Line: My family is willing to sacrifice having my FI's closest friends at our engagement party because they want to take a vacation that they hadn't actually started planning yet.  I'm just really disappointed in my family. My FI is not at all high maintenance, and doesn't ask for much. He really just wants his best friend who he only has gotten to see a few times in the last few years at the party. After all, they had no plane tickets, had not signed up for the tournament, had not put it on their calendar. As far as I know, the only planning they had done for this trip had been to mention it in passing to friends.  I don't think it's too much to ask for them to forego a golf tournament to honor this wish... Am I being a bridezilla?
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Just explain to them how important this is in a calm way and tell them how much it means to you and the efforts you went through to pick a date as well as checking the calendar. It's an emotional time for all and there should be no problems once you tell them the importance of every one needs to be understanding.

    </div>
  • tandkbarnestandkbarnes member
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:70ef5b0f-30c6-4a06-a1db-e279ab89a0aa">I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry Knotties, but I guess my first post is going to have to be a rant. I'm not usually one to complain, but this is just ridiculous. PS...Would love to hear anyone's feedback on how to handle this situation. A Little Background: We just got engaged a few weeks ago, and set our date for September 28th, 2013. Because we live in Chicago, and want a downtown wedding, and because our guest list is going to be 300+, we had to get into wedding mode right away. Our date is set, ceremony and reception venues booked, etc.  How It All Started: My FI's best friend is on active duty in the military, and will be on his last leave in July, before he returns to Germany for a year without leave, and comes back about a month before the wedding. We thought it would be great if we could do an engagement party while he was in town so that he could be here, but he was limited to a certain weekend. He was planning to visit us while he was on leave anyway, so he made the plans to come up with their other best friend (who had to take off work) for the weekend he could get away. My FI also told a few other close friends that we were hoping to have an engagement party that day, in hopes that telling them 2 months in advance would give them enough time to collect enough $/take off work/make transportation plans to get here. (They all live in the Kentucky area, about 7-9 hours drive from CHI) While some of this may have been a little presumptious on our part, the main issue is that my FI's best friend could not come on another weekend due to his leave schedule and other plans to see family, etc.   The Issue: Because we were scheduling this 2 months in advance, I didn't think it would be a problem when I asked my parents for a specific date. Not to mention, I had brought it up to my mother in passing on several occasions, without a word to the contrary, AND there was nothing on my family's shared calendar that indicated that they would be out of town/traveling/unavailable. So imagine my surprise when I called my father to confirm the date, and he replied with "Well, I have to say...there was a golf tournament in California I wanted to play in that day."  Bottom Line: My family is willing to sacrifice having my FI's closest friends at our engagement party because they want to take a vacation that they hadn't actually started planning yet.  I'm just really disappointed in my family. My FI is not at all high maintenance, and doesn't ask for much. He really just wants his best friend who he only has gotten to see a few times in the last few years at the party. After all, they had no plane tickets, had not signed up for the tournament, had not put it on their calendar. As far as I know, the only planning they had done for this trip had been to mention it in passing to friends.  I don't think it's too much to ask for them to forego a golf tournament to honor this wish... Am I being a bridezilla?
    Posted by christi.mayo[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Just explain to them how important this is in a calm way and tell them how much it means to you and the efforts you went through to pick a date as well as checking the calendar. It's an emotional time for all and there should be no problems once you tell them the importance of every one needs to be understanding.

    </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:2e4c8480-0e67-4e05-ba91-3f2a6bfab301">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : Just explain to them how important this is in a calm way and tell them how much it means to you <strong>and the efforts you went through to pick a date as well as checking the calendar.</strong> It's an emotional time for all and there should be no problems once you tell them the importance of every one needs to be understanding.
    Posted by tandkbarnes[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't know why but this just made me laugh.  Sorry.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:e085ec40-ea8d-45a8-b153-33e46413628f">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : I don't know why but this just made me laugh.  Sorry.
    Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

    <div>Is there a reason you keep responding? Neither of your responses have been helpful/constructive/relevant. </div>
  • I scrolled up and down twice...read every comment posted...nothing that would even HINT at vicious on here. 

    I saw questions for clarification of the OP, and answers.  Maybe not ones the OP was looking for/hoping for, but honest answers. 
    Anniversary
  • Put it on the shared calandar before you parents do. Then they can't schedule something the same weekend. Throw a bbq instead of an engagement party with all your friends. And let your parents throw you an engagment party if they want to later.

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Hey girl, sorry for some of the rude answers you got on here.  Not cool ladies!

    It sounds like you just needed a sounding board to vent to.  take a few deep breaths and remember that nothing is the end of the world.

    Spend some quality time with your hunny's buddy and let your parents throw you a nice party, it may not be exactly what you wanted, but it will give you time with everyone.  Good luck darling!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:7c699b88-3c6d-4a0b-8471-fa4e55ef185b">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey girl, sorry for some of the rude answers you got on here.  Not cool ladies! It sounds like you just needed a sounding board to vent to.  take a few deep breaths and remember that nothing is the end of the world. Spend some quality time with your hunny's buddy and let your parents throw you a nice party, it may not be exactly what you wanted, but it will give you time with everyone.  Good luck darling!
    Posted by Cjgirl00[/QUOTE]

    No one was rude.  They were honest.  Big difference.
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_i-cant-evenengagement-party-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9a2a4ed9-f3cf-4039-8d6e-8fd7d808da84Post:f1e1fe21-1a29-4b39-8199-0e23376d0b30">Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I can't even...Engagement Party Drama : No one was rude.  They were honest.  Big difference.
    Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]

    <div>I know, I'm really trying to figure out what actually was rude in this whole thread.....</div>
  • Be greatful you are even getting a party.
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