Sorry Knotties, but I guess my first post is going to have to be a rant. I'm not usually one to complain, but this is just ridiculous. PS...Would love to hear anyone's feedback on how to handle this situation.
A Little Background: We just got engaged a few weeks ago, and set our date for September 28th, 2013. Because we live in Chicago, and want a downtown wedding, and because our guest list is going to be 300+, we had to get into wedding mode right away. Our date is set, ceremony and reception venues booked, etc.
How It All Started: My FI's best friend is on active duty in the military, and will be on his last leave in July, before he returns to Germany for a year without leave, and comes back about a month before the wedding. We thought it would be great if we could do an engagement party while he was in town so that he could be here, but he was limited to a certain weekend.
He was planning to visit us while he was on leave anyway, so he made the plans to come up with their other best friend (who had to take off work) for the weekend he could get away. My FI also told a few other close friends that we were hoping to have an engagement party that day, in hopes that telling them 2 months in advance would give them enough time to collect enough $/take off work/make transportation plans to get here. (They all live in the Kentucky area, about 7-9 hours drive from CHI)
While some of this may have been a little presumptious on our part, the main issue is that my FI's best friend could not come on another weekend due to his leave schedule and other plans to see family, etc.
The Issue: Because we were scheduling this 2 months in advance, I didn't think it would be a problem when I asked my parents for a specific date. Not to mention, I had brought it up to my mother in passing on several occasions, without a word to the contrary, AND there was nothing on my family's shared calendar that indicated that they would be out of town/traveling/unavailable. So imagine my surprise when I called my father to confirm the date, and he replied with "Well, I have to say...there was a golf tournament in California I wanted to play in that day."
Bottom Line: My family is willing to sacrifice having my FI's closest friends at our engagement party because they want to take a vacation that they hadn't actually started planning yet.
I'm just really disappointed in my family. My FI is not at all high maintenance, and doesn't ask for much. He really just wants his best friend who he only has gotten to see a few times in the last few years at the party. After all, they had no plane tickets, had not signed up for the tournament, had not put it on their calendar. As far as I know, the only planning they had done for this trip had been to mention it in passing to friends. I don't think it's too much to ask for them to forego a golf tournament to honor this wish...
Am I being a bridezilla?