WTF Knot Post Secret

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wtf-knot-post-secret?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:e06e2f52-1a43-4dfe-8569-79317565142dPost:b276fda1-a760-44df-86e7-2b5e2ccb2b42">Re: WTF Knot Post Secret</a>:
[QUOTE]So was it difficult for you? Like did you feel he was being "unfaithful" since you were not indulging in the open part of the relationship.  Or were you cool with it since you guys had agreed to it?  Why am I so fascinated!? LOL
Posted by sherrbearr22[/QUOTE]

Jealousy, mostly.  He and his girlfriend lived together, and he was helping her raise her two children from a previous relationship.  They were swingers by night, but by day they were very much a family and I wasn't a part of that at all.  There was also the age difference: I was 21 at the time, he was 23, and she was 40.  So, at the same time that I was jealous of their longer and much more domestic relationship, she was jealous of our physical relationship and afraid that because I was monogamous to him and much closer to his age, he would leave her for me when I decided I was done experimenting with their lifestyle.

Blueyed228

Im not surprised that KPS has some new stuff posted since there was a thread about it on the boards yesterday.

I still think half the stuff that is posted is BS.

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wtf-knot-post-secret?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:e06e2f52-1a43-4dfe-8569-79317565142dPost:0af585bd-c256-47a3-9625-2ea5d03c1de1">Re: WTF Knot Post Secret</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WTF Knot Post Secret : I guess I judge it because while it doesn't hurt me personally, it is hurting someone else.  I think regardless of what the action is, adultery or something else, if you do something willfully and intentionally to hurt someone, that speaks a lot about your character, which to me...is deeply and irreparably flawed.  I would honestly have a hard time being friends with someone who is having an affair.  I just don't believe they are good people or could possibly have any good traits that would help me to overlook that.  (an "OMG what did I do?" one night stand kind of thing is much different than carrying on an ongoing affair and having no remorse about it.  It's still not excusable, but not as detrimental to your character kind of thing). <strong>I also not so secretly hope everyone who has had an affair will have it happen to them.  Prefereably with someone that they are so totally in love with and trusting of and then to have their heart ripped out and broken.</strong>  I just don't understand how anyone can do that to someone they "love" so the deserve to feel what it was like to the person they did that to.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

I think that's a mildly disturbing thing to wish on people you don't even know.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wtf-knot-post-secret?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e06e2f52-1a43-4dfe-8569-79317565142dPost:1217058a-2ee5-4c3d-baed-0f7d14fdd566">Re: WTF Knot Post Secret</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WTF Knot Post Secret : I have friends and family who I know are adulterers. I don't love them any less than before I found out.  Yes, I feel like their actions were terribly cruel and hurtful to their spouse/SO.  I don't justify cheating in any form. I have been cheated on in the past it took me awhile to date again afterwards.  I just can't see throwing someone who is close to you out of your life for actions that you know only small surface details about and that never involved you in the first place. And I thoroughly disagree with the bolded statement.  A very close family member of mine is a cheater.  But they are also one of the most generous, loving individuals I've ever known. Also they are one of the most supportive persons I have in my family.  I would never throw them out of my life for actions of thiers that I know so little about
Posted by kodakitty[/QUOTE]

Family is harder to throw out of your lives than friends, but I'd still have pretty serious issues feeling the same way about them.  I've seen the receiving end of what adultery does to people and I just don't think I could respect someone who would so willingly do that to someone they were supposed to love.  I do think it speaks volumes about their character and being generous doesn't really fully redeem that part of their personality that is so flawed.

Edit:  I wanted to clarify that that's for people who don't regret it, have no remorse, and would do it again (which is what several of KPS were).  I would be much more willing to 'forgive' someone who was very regretful and tried to fix things or realized their wrongs, etc.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wtf-knot-post-secret?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e06e2f52-1a43-4dfe-8569-79317565142dPost:ae1e8237-ebfb-4f9b-8c19-b759d4fdaa3d">Re: WTF Knot Post Secret</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WTF Knot Post Secret : I think that's a mildly disturbing thing to wish on people you don't even know.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

That part isn't so much for the people that I don't know who have cheated (I'll admit there are varying degrees of cheating especially if the relationship is already in the shitter, not that that's an excuse, but it doesn't inflict as much pain, I suppose)...it's for the people I do know.

I haven't been cheated on, but I have a few very close friends and family who have been absolutely devastated by it and I feel no shame in wishing that their ex-spouse's cheating asses never find true happiness because they honestly don't deserve it.  Anyone who can inflict those kinds of wounds and not feel a shred of remorse or even pretend to be sorry are completely void of an actual heart and I assume they are probably incapable of feeling love anyways.