Sister's Wedding Vent

Stina51286

So long story short my sister finally asked me to be in her wedding/MOH 3.5 months before the wedding. Whatever its my sister I said yes. One of her BMs is really getting on my nerves.

The shower is less than a month away. My mom and I offered to gather all the stuff (food, doorprizes, etc.) and two of the other girls said great let us know how much we owe you. One BM, it getting rather annoying to me. My mom has called/texted her several times, my sister even talked to her telling her she needs to get a hold of my mom. I facebooked her yesterday morning, have seen her on facebook several times throughout the day, and she has yet to respond. If she cannot afford to help with the shower, she should tell us instead of letting us hang not knowing what is going on.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this before? If so, how did you deal with it?

lconoran

That blows! Sorry Stina!

I was actually co-MOH with an18 year old college student once (bride's cousin) and was like WHAT?! I get that "etiquette" says the only thing anyone has to do is show up...I really do. But there is more than that! And it doesn't even sound like you're expecting more, you just simply want to know! For me, it was more her age and definitely her ability to financially contribute somewhat, but her mother helped pick up her piece here or there. Of course we did talk about everything first and costs etc. Did she actually commit to any of this before the planning began? Not that I think her yes or no should sway your decision on what kind of events to throw for your sister. It was annoying. That's really all you can say. I would say, try not to discuss it with your sis. She picked this person because she loves her and wants her next to her that day. You can tell her how annoying she is AFTER the wedding )

Stina51286

She originally said she would help with what we want her to but now she is so difficult to get a hold of. We just need to know if we need to include her in the end when we get a final count of how much each of us pays. We are also trying to figure out if she is wiling to come and help cook since she did say she was going to help host the shower, she should be helping with aspects of the shower she is helping to host.

lconoran

Oh yeah I find it terribly annoying and inconsiderate for people to commit to things and then leave others to figure it out. Hopefully she snaps into it!

gfolio

After having just been in my 6th wedding last week...$ is a pain!  The wedding is over and we are still trying to square away money from the shower.  AT THE WEDDING, we were recouping money from the bachelorette party...WHAT A MESS!!! I hope my mom, sister, or maids don't have to deal with this with my wedding!

It seems as though everyone deals with this and there is no easy way to handle this.  I would say be persistent.  And, I know some may be against this (but it seems you already did this), get the bride involved (and maybe as the last resort) as she knows everyone best. I would proceed and not expect her to pay and if she does...great!  So many girls have no idea HOW to be in a wedding and what they have committed to...its annoying!!!

Stina51286

This is her latest fb status:

"ugh...must use my very limited free tome after work tomorrow to go find and outfit to wear to Mike and Allison's wedding. To anyone trying to get hold of me, I apologize but my job and family come first in my free time. When I get to you, I will get to you."

I am sorry but over two weeks to get back to someone about a shower thats in 3 weeks is rediculous!

lconoran

Oh hell no!!! She needs a swift kick in the a$$! GL with that one Stina

Stina51286

Haha im getting close!

I know I shouldn't make judgments on someones job, but she works at Pizza Hut. I see her on FB all the time. You think you could take umm maybe 5 minutes out of your "busy" day and message someone back?

This is what I said to her (copied and pasted from fb on May 29).

"Hey, my mom has been trying to get a hold of you with regards to the shower. She wanted to know what you've gotten so far with regards to door prizes? Also we wanted to know if you'd be okay with us getting the rest of the stuff/food and then splitting it evenly (obvioulsy we would subtract what you've gotten already) between the 4 of us (my mom, Carolann, you and myself. Sarah will not be there since she will be in school in Poland)? Please let me know if this is okay with you since we are trying to get things figured out. Thanks"