August 2012 Weddings

MOH stepped down.... :( Thanks for Listening.

Well, I just talked to my MOH and she is stepping down, I am not mad...more bummed.

She has been my best friend for years, and is the only one I could think of having stand next to me on this very important day. The reason behind her stepping down is her boyfriend of 2 years broke up with her a couple weeks ago and she is struggling as this was her first long term relationship.  I've have been in her shoes of being single when it seems everyone around you is happy and in love, so i know how much it sucks. She asked if she could think about it awhile and let me know, and I said thats fine. So i guess I am just relieving some stress and pain for her. I hope she will be able to heal without having to worry about helping me plan the wedding.

Thanks for listening ladies!!
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Re: MOH stepped down.... :( Thanks for Listening.

  • That is too bad, but it's great you're being so understanding.  I can definitely recall those days, too.  

    Did she bow out of your wedding party altogether?  Or will she remain a bridesmaid, just not MOH?  Any ideas for a "replacement?"
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_moh-stepped-down-thanks-listening?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:a0e807b5-32c2-488d-a38a-0c352292a83aPost:c12282b2-938b-42f9-83f0-2335439312bd">Re: MOH stepped down.... :( Thanks for Listening.</a>:
    [QUOTE]That is too bad, but it's great you're being so understanding.  I can definitely recall those days, too.   Did she bow out of your wedding party altogether?  Or will she remain a bridesmaid, just not MOH? <strong> Any ideas for a "replacement?"</strong>
    Posted by kap617[/QUOTE]

    <div>If she steps down, do NOT "replace" her - think of how insulting that would be, both to her (you're telling her she's replaceable, even though you've said she's your best friend) and to the replacement (you'd basically be telling the replacement person that, while she wasn't good enough to be your MOH at first, she'll do for a backup).... that's just going to result in a lot of hurt feelings.  Let her be a bridesmaid, or just a guest, or whatever she's comfortable with, and leave the rest of the bridesmaids as bridesmaids.  Don't worry about having uneven sides or anything like that. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_moh-stepped-down-thanks-listening?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:a0e807b5-32c2-488d-a38a-0c352292a83aPost:a3278e8a-d501-4bc0-a31f-0bb92da97dc3">MOH stepped down.... :( Thanks for Listening.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I just talked to my MOH and she is stepping down, I am not mad...more bummed. She has been my best friend for years, and is the only one I could think of having stand next to me on this very important day. The reason behind her stepping down is her boyfriend of 2 years broke up with her a couple weeks ago and she is struggling as this was her first long term relationship.  I've have been in her shoes of being single when it seems everyone around you is happy and in love, so i know how much it sucks. She asked if she could think about it awhile and let me know, and I said thats fine. So i guess I am just relieving some stress and pain for her. <strong>I hope she will be able to heal without having to worry about helping me plan the wedding. </strong>Thanks for listening ladies!!
    Posted by jjolovich[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Also, the only person who should be helping your plan your wedding is your FI.  This is absolutely not the MOH's job - her only job should be to show up at the right time and place, in the right dress.  That's it.  Maybe if you stick with this instead of expecting her to help you do wedding stuff, she might not feel like she has to step down.

    </div>
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  • He will, she wasn't going to help me plan the whole thing, the big thing was dress shopping for the bm dresses and I didn't expect anymore from her except like youwas pp of showing up in the dress on time. And really there is no replacements for her. I guess time will only tell if she still wants to be in the wedding g
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Flowers
    image 160 Invited
    image 2 are ready to party with there boots on! image 0 have better things to do image158 are trying to find there boots
    RSVP Date: July 25th
  • I'm sorry to hear this happened.  After breaking off my first engagement around 2/06, I stood up in weddings 5/06 & 8/06.  I definitely had weird feelings about it and was generally unhappy as I was supposed to be having my wedding that year.  The first one was much more difficult as it was a college friend and we had different circles of friends, so I went into it knowing very few people.  I did it for her, and I ended up dancing it up with a single groomsman.  By the time the 8/06 wedding rolled around, I was in better spirits, plus it was a cousin's wedding, so I knew many of the people attending.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that time does heal.  Three months out from my break-up was hard, but I pushed through it.  Six months out - not so hard.  Your friend may come around in time as she heals.  If you're willing to cut her some slack on the bridesmaid dress thing, she really wouldn't have to decide until the month of the wedding & she could grab a quick dress off the rack somewhere.
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