Non-traditional cake - MOB wants traditional

TJHine

Ok...so I saw similar posts for this, but they were from months ago, and I am not sure if they are being read and I need help!My FI and I are having a rustic wedding in VT in Feb., and I found a cake that we really liked that was in the shape of a tree stump w/ a heart and names "carved" in the side. We are planning on having a cake solely for the purpose of the cake cutting - we are NOT serving cake (my parents wanted a Venetian dessert table, and my Fi and I wanted a hot chocolate & candy bar, so we are doing that for dessert)...we found someone to make our cake for very little money, and it totally fits us...the problem is, my mom hates it and wants to have another more traditional cake...I just feel like it is such a waste, because we aren't serving cake...we have such different tastes, and this has been difficult in every aspect of wedding planning, but FI and I love the cake, so why can't she just let it be?! any suggestions would be very appreciated, thanks!

MesmrEwe

Rather than stressing, what about adding a mini cake (and I really do mean MINI - think mini cupcake and texas cupcake size decorated like a small 2-tier stacked cake) on top of the stump (like the stump is a cake stand)...  It sounds like you've done a ton of compromising when it comes to the dessert as it is to the point that you should go for the cake design that you want for your cutting.  One other option would be just because it's easier than dealing with conflict sometimes get the cake you want and have the baker make an 8", 6" stacked cake that you serve at the brunch the next day or at your gift opening (and suggest that your Mom who is insisting here pay for it - which 9:10 usually neutralizes things "You can have it there if YOU pay for it from OUR baker")... 

TMarie2010

Few questions?  Have you showed your mother a picture of the cake you want? Or just described it to her? Perhaps she's envisioning it all wrong....when in fact once put together and decorated, would be beautiful!  Also, do you have your heart set on the tree stump cake? If not, then perhaps looking at other "traditional" cakes that would fit with the rustic theme.  Or maybe u can still do the traditional cake, but make it look like a tree stump with icing coloring and still "carve" your names into the side of it. In the end, you should do what you want regardless of what your mother says.  If she is still persistent on the cake matter, then pick out another more traditional SMALL cake and like the other reply, make her pay for it!

TJHine

I have shown her the photo - she doesn't like it! we have very different tastes, and we don't agree on much...that being said, everyone else that I have shown the picture to (my bm, moh, etc) have said it's perfect for FI and I and that they love it...I do have my heart set on it, and my the only reason I wouldn't do the more traditional cake with the coloring and carving is because then it just wouldn't look like a stump cake anymore...my mom is already going crazy with other things, and I feel like I just need to put my foot down on this one...does that make me a b*tch?

Lasairiona

Your wedding, your choice. Especially if you are paying for it yourselves. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

TJHine

We actually aren't paying for it ourselves...sorry for the confusion...I guess that is why I am not sure about it...

txbride2011

Girl you need to take your stand here!  The cake is the most visual part of the wedding (besides the kiss) that your guests are going to remember; that is why so many b&g's spend so much money on them.  It is suppose to symbolize you and your new husband, not your mom.  Tell her you love her and that you are glad she feels comfortable enough to share her opinion with you but you really feel that this is the best way to symbolize you and your FI at your wedding!  Also, give her something special, perhaps a sterling silver cake charm that she can wear the day of the wedding! 

JaimeeP

I love your cake style and think you should stick with it.  In place of the traditional cake, you could display the Venetian desserts on a tiered tray. If your mom is concerned that guests will expect cake, she could have a sheet cake made for guests to take home as favors. Maybe, you could order little cake boxes with your heart or tree logo on them.

TJHine

Thanks ladies! I think I'm going to push for the cake we want...thanks for your ideas and support!

AmyLaurel89

I am traditional myself but I'll scrap tradition in a heartbeat if something else fits me and my FI as perfectly as your cake idea. And since you've got someone picked out to make it the way you like it and for a good price, go ahead. Explain to your mom that you understand why tradition is important to her but that you (and your guests) want to attend a wedding that reflects the two who are getting married. Personality is the best part of a wedding. She may not like it but its not her wedding.