Wedding Cakes & Food Forum

I don't want a redneck wedding!

I live in a small country town and will be having a wedding locally. The concern I have is I don't want a redneck wedding! I grew up in a big city and though I am a country girl at heart I'm not redneck, neither is my fiance. We are more country, more rustic but not redneck. I have been to SO many local weddings and it never fails they are redneck and I'm determined to not have that. I won't be wearing cowboy boots with my dress nor will we be having canned beer at the wedding.

So here are my question.

My fiance requested that we have some of our amazing friends from Iowa who have won awards for their amazing smoked food, do the catering. The food is great and I'm so okay with it. But I have to think of a way to make it classy and not too cowboy/redneck. Any suggestions for a "classy bbq" or something like that?

Re: I don't want a redneck wedding!

  • First, cowboy boots and canned beer do not make a redneck wedding.  To see what a real redneck wedding looks like I suggest you look up the show "My Big Redneck Wedding" and then you will have an idea.

    If you don't want a country wedding then don't have a country wedding.  But honestly, if I went to a wedding where they served BBQ (which is what you are talking about) I wouldn't think that the wedding was very formal or elegant.  I would think it more as a laid back affair that is relaxed and more of a backyard type of feel.

    I honestly think that when it comes to weddings I get an over all feel for the formality of the event by the venue and food.  So if you want a classy affair I suggest you find a classy venue and serve non-bbq food.  But that is just my opinion.

  • Ditto Maggie.

    I would only add that if these friends of yours are going to be invited as guests, then this should not be an option.  Guests should never ever be put to work at yoru wedding.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Am I understanding correctly that you want a rustic/country feel but not "cowboy"?

    What is your reception venue like? 

    If you want to hire the wonderful-smoked-food-friends for the catering, consider:
    1.  Choosing food that is eaten with a fork-and-knife, not in-hands, and avoid a lot of drippy sauces.  In other words, skip the ribs, wings and BBQ-on-buns, and consider sliced brisket, smoked pork tenderloin, or BBQ boneless chicken breasts.
    2.  Ditto for the sides -- suit them to your desired level of formality.  Instead of corn-on-the-cob, consider grilled veggies, smashed potatoes, cheesy potatoes or smoked potatoes (a local BBQ restuarant here makes them), sweet potato casserole, fried apples and tossed salad.  Also find out whether your caterers can do "gussied-up" versions of classic BBQ sides:  a red-cabbage slaw, smokey baked beans, or homemade macaroni-and-cheese cups (baked in a muffin tin -- makes for a nice individual serving, and there's more of the crisp edges).

    To create the ambiance you seem to want:
    -  Go simpler and spend more on what you do use.  Use cloth tablecloths instead of plastic or paper.  If possible, use real china, silverware and glasses.   Otherwise, use the best-quality disposables that you can afford. 

    - Don't overdo the rustic/country touches -- a little goes a long way!  Etsy has some beautiful birch bark vases, candleholders and votive-glasses.  Tie some twine around individual fat pillar candles in your colors and group them together as your centerpieces ... or tie three pillars of different heights together with twine and scatter river rocks around them.  Burlap is trendy, comes in different colors and can be a nice touch (if not overdone):  maybe a runner down the middle of a long table, or a square of it under a vase of flowers or pillar-candle centerpiece.  Look around for antique (or antique-esque) lanterns or candle lanterns for added lighting. 

    - If you don't want rustic/country at all, then go for very classic decor, like fresh flowers and  candles -- floral arrangements or a single bloom in a bud vase or glass bowl with votive candles around them; bowls of floating candles or a gathering of pillars with a sprinkling of rose petals (preferably real); etc.

    It's true, as PP said, that BBQ/smoked food changes the formality of a wedding dinner ... no one is going to mistake the spread I described above for a black-tie banquet.  But there's also a lot to be said for presentation.  I attended a wedding where the reception was held in the church hall, and the meal was a BBQ buffet served on sturdy plastic.  It wasn't fancy, but it wasn't "redneck" either.  It was simple, pretty, and tasty.
  • I think you've had some pretty good advice above.

    Without labeling in any way, think of "elegant" but "country". Real tablecloths, real napkins, plates, glasses, utensils, and flowers or candles. If you think of it as elegant but simple, it won't say "redneck".

    I also agree, the venue, food and decor set the mood. Wonderful food served in an elegant manner, even if you have checked tablecloths isn't "redneck". Fresh country flowers in a vase or even a Mason jar aren't "redneck".

    Good luck.
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