Cash Bar?

Slider_852000

My parents are footing the bill for my wedding and I thought we were at least doing champain during dinner and toasts if not also doing the $9 a person drink deal with drinks during cocktail hour and soda, beer during dinner but I found out tonight my parents want a full cash bar because we are having a big buffette for the reception, we are not having hor dourves either during cocktail hour though either so I kind of feel bad for guests. what do ya'll think?

jagore08

If you're having alcohol served during cocktail hour then you need a little something for your guests to nibble on.  It doesn't have to be elaborate foods just some cheeses and fruits and veggies will be fine.  Also, you really should find a way to host your bar for your guests.  If your parents are unwilling to pay then you and your FI should.  You don't have to host a full bar, you can do beer and wine.

Sue-n-Kevin

I totally agree with the prior posters. Guests should never be expected to pay for their own drinks. Your parents should know this.

An open bar of beer & wine, with perhaps a signature drink should be fine. Many brides do it to save money. If this is beyond your parent's budget, consider contributing, or your fiance can. If they refuse to pay for the alcohol, regardless of what the types, then cut back in other areas.

It really is NEVER appropriate to invite people to a wedding and expect them to pay for anything.

I also agree with jagore08, you would need to offer some type of food during the "cocktail hour" so guests do not become too inebriated. Or, eliminate the cocktail hour and serve dinner earlier.

[Deleted User]

I see nothing wrong with a cash bar. Every wedding I've ever attended had a cash bar. Not everyone can afford not to have a cash bar. We are having a cash bar. Don't let anyone tell you you are a "bad bride" or "bad hostess" for doing so. That being said, you say that your parents are paying for your wedding. You & your fiance can't pay for the open bar?? If you aren't paying for anything & you REALLY want an open bar, I think you & your fiance should pay for it. It's the least you can do. You can't force your parents to pay for it. They're already paying for everything else aren't they?

jenjoe1115

We are also having a cash bar. But the hall for the reception does not allow you to bring in soda juice or water. So what we are doing is paying for all those drinks. But if people want to drink alcohol it is on them. I think it is your choice don't let anyone tell you that it has to be one way or another this is your day.

matlie7

Slider, if your reception venue lets you bring in drinks and your caterer will allow it, bring your own beverages. Make a short list of a few beers and wines that your guests might enjoy (a full bar is expensive, and not all of the drinks are used anyway). Start shopping early and stocking up. Also, mention to your caterers to ask if guests are finished with their drinks before cleaning up and not taking away glasses that are half full. Just a few ideas. 

Maggie0829

Having cash bars is a no-no.  I don't care how you try to say it is, it isn't.  If you are hosting a party you pay for what you can afford.  If your parents cannot afford alcohol then you don't have any. Period.  You should never, ever, have your guests pay for anything at your wedding.

Honestly, if I were a guest at your wedding, I would be more peeved about the lack of appetizers during cocktail hour then the lack of alcohol.

As far as the liability reason, I just don't understand it.  Your parents won't pay for alcohol because they are afraid of drunk people going crazy and destroying crap?  Well, if you let them buy their own drinks you could still have drunk people going crazy and destroying things.  This really doesn't cut back on your parents liability.

Oh and the whole "this is your day so do what you want mentality" needs to go bye-byes.  Once you involve other people into your day it stops being just about you and your FI.

ElleB87

Depending on the liquor permit requirements in your area you may be required to serve some type of food if liquor is being offered (that's how it works in my area).  I agree with PP's that you should be offering hors d'oevres.  I do think if liquor if going to be offered, some of it should be hosted, like wine and beer during dinner.  If you want a cash bar for liquor other than that, I don't see a big problem.

In terms of liability issues I would check your local laws. In my area, if there is a bar tender serving the drinks and the venue/host has a permit to serve liquor, the host is not liable for whether people drink and drive.

Also...no offense but it's a pet peeve of mine...it's spelt C-H-A-M-P-A-G-N-E.

librababy

If you are having a large buffet then I don't see the need for appetizers if there is no cocktail hour (just went to a wedding where it was straight from the church to the reception site (maybe 30 minute wait for the couple), no muchies, then 'dinner', which was only meat, salad, rice. No big deal. 

I have been to a wedding where there was a cash bar, no one complained. It is not your respnisble to provide liquor for your guests. If you feel bad about the cash bar, don't have a bar. Plant 1 or 2 bottles of wine at each table and call it a day. It's your wedding, people should not expect alcohol.