family wedding drama

cgielow

Okay, so I want to get some other opinions on this situation....I got engaged in December; we have our venue and other major vendors booked at this point. My cousin got engaged about 3 weeks ago to her longtime boyfriend, and told the family she plans to get married May 5, 2012. Mind you, the family is pretty well aware that FI and I have set the date of April 28, 2012....cousin is definitely aware because she specifically asked me about 2 months ago. Is it wrong to be a little upset about this situation? I feel as though it is disrespectful not only to FI and I (we won't be able to go to the wedding since we will be on our honeymoon) but also to our family who will now have 2 weddings to attend in 2 weeks (grandparents have already expressed concerns that it will be overwhelming for them to be away 2 weekends in a row as they are in their 80s). What would you ladies do in this situation??

KendallandAlbert

Honestly, I would talk to your cousin about the stains of it.  My sister and I went though something similar and were able to work it out. 

Just let her know your plans are already in stone and that people won't be able to make both of them if they are so close together.  Just stay calm and don't get emotional.  You might also reach out to your Aunt/Uncle about your concerns as well, as new brides tend to listen to mom/dad :P

swimfast39

Unfortunately, I'm not sure there is anything you can do. I'm sorry you're in that situation though- it's definitely unfair for her to have picked the week after your wedding. When I got engaged, I really wanted the wedding in June, but my cousin got engaged first and booked her wedding for June 16. I knew it would be too much for my family in one month and I didn't want to take any attention away from her or make her feel like she was sharing the spotlight, so we decided on April instead. 
 
I don't really see why out of all the weekends she could have her wedding, she would pick the one after yours. The only thing I would suggest is maybe talking to her about it- did they have a reason for picking that weekend? Do they have anything booked yet, or could they still change the date? Explain to her that you don't want to miss her special day since you'll be on your HM and wouldn't want the family to feel too overwhelmed and be unable to fully enjoy her wedding. Good luck and I hope it all works out.

mybestfriend4eva

Im sorry to hear about this. I think that while technically there is nothing you can do there are ways to go about getting it fixed. I agree with Kendall try talking to her first. Sometimes we all get caught up once we know we are going to get married. Suggest to her about how your grandparents are feeling. I also agree that talking to her parents would be a good next option is the first one doesnt work. Brides do listen to parents and her parents might be able to talk her down to reason. I also think that swimfast has made a great point in telling her how much you want to be there for her special day and if they could move the date back even just a little you would be back from your honeymoon and hopefully that would buy everyone some time in between the two weddings. Keep us posted and I hope it all works out!

em01092

Yeah like PPs said, keep the focus on your grandparents and how you want to be there but will be on your HM. You don't want to seem controlling or entitled. Though you mean well, she might take offense and feel like you are raining on her parade or something. If she gets upset, give her a while to cool and then hopefully she'll see where you are coming from and can work something out. 

cgielow

Thanks Ladies! We have a family party this weekend we will both be at, so I am thinking I will see how things go, and if she brings up the wedding, share the concern my grandparents raised and see how she responds. If it wasn't for that and the fact that we will be on our honeymoon, I wouldn't mind her doing it so close to our date. Hopefully it will all work out!