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allisonkbye
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donating in lieu of favors
allisonkbye
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to all you ladies who think donating to a charity is a bad idea in lieu of favors, open ur eyes and let this sink in...
YOU'RE TAKING IT THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!
you're only true defense to this topic is saying that it's silly to give someone a donation on someone elses behalf. true, but guess what - that's NOT what this is. so whoever thinks that way needs to get it out of their head. what is it then? it's this (open eyes wide again)
I DONT WANT TO WASTE MY MONEY ON MINTS, ID RATHER DONATE IT. SO INSTEAD OF MINTS, WE DONATED MONEY, AND THIS IS WHY YOU ARE NOT GETTING MINTS
Believe it of not, there's lots of KIND HEARTED people in this world that do generous things with their money, without going overboard (i just read someone should sacrifice their bouquet instead of favors if they wanna donate...wtf??)
If you would seriously go to a wedding and complain because you didn't get favors because the couple stated instead of favors they made a donation, chances are you have much bigger problems in life
It's a shame that there's a sticky on this board that biases the whole topic, but hopefully this will shed some light on people at least for the next day or who who read this and are considering donating. ITS OKAY!!!
take a step back and look at it from a fresh perspective...what kind of people would seriously complain if they didn't get a favor because instead that got donated? ...yeah....exactly.....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: donating in lieu of favors
We are not giving people big bright cards that say "O, we didnt get you anything instead we decided to just donate it" but we do have small plain business card sized notes that have a poem and let our guests know about the contribution and how much we wished she was there.
I do not think that any of my guests would think this is displaying a sign of us deciding not to spend money on them. Quite opposite actually. The people that know about our decision have all praised it and have been supportive.
In my opinion, A favour is a little gift for your guests, donating to a charity you choose isn't a gift to them.
Donate to whatever charity you want. Don't give favours, just don't announce either one.
TO me what you have said is that you didn't want to waste money on something for the guest you wanted to use it for something you wanted. Favours that can be eaten are popular with lots of people.
But again, the reception is also a thank you for some people so don't bother with the favours if you see them as a waste of money.
If you were to do a nice deed at work do you put up a little sign at your desk letting everyone know? If you helped a neighbor would you hang a sign on your front door? What do expect to get out of letting everyone know of your donation? More attention on your wedding day?
Make your donation. Skip the favors. Don't be an AW.
Planning Bio
Philly Siggy Challenge: The Ring!
so the awareness ribbons I paid for (in addition to the donation.. from an outside company) could technically be considered the favors.. people could use them as jewelry, broaches, or take them apart and use them to tie an umbilical cord off at a roadside delivery. they're functional, they can take them home, and I paid for them. They're not for some controversial cause.. and I'm not claiming to be donating money in their names.. . Picking some grab bag charity is totally different, IMO. I understand that you guys probably get asked the question a lot but the harsh nastiness is completely unnecessary. It's a wedding message board you're going to constantly get new people.. and get the repetitive questions... if you can't leave out the snark, maybe it's time you moved on.
[QUOTE]So donate money. Everyone is all for that. You simply don't need to make a big "look what I did" announcement about it at your wedding. What YOU don't get is that it is inappropriate to say "we decided to take money we would have spent on a thank you gift for you and donate it to charity." You don't tell people what they AREN'T getting. You say "wtf" to donating instead of having a bouquet. Really? So it's ok to donate in lieu of favors for your guests and tell them you're doing that, but you won't sacrifice something for yourself for this charity? I'd be a hell of a lot more impressed by a bride who told me she gave up her bouquet than one who told me she passed on the mints. People won't object to NOT having favors. Simply DON'T have any. You are certainly free to take the money you would have spent on them and donate it. Just don't mention it. You don't need to announce and pat yourself on the back about it. It just makes you look like an AW.
Posted by CassieeK[/QUOTE]
This. All of this. Why is it ok for the favors to go, but you say WTF to getting rid of the bouquet? It makes no sense.
I hate that people feel they need to flaunt a donation. I donate $ all the time to charities - I don't tell anyone about it. I don't get what it is about weddings that changes the equation. If you want to skip favors to donate money, that's fine, but there's no reason to be an AW about it.
[QUOTE]so the awareness ribbons I paid for (in addition to the donation.. from an outside company) could technically be considered the favors.. people could use them as jewelry, broaches, or take them apart and use them to tie an umbilical cord off at a roadside delivery. they're functional, they can take them home, and I paid for them. They're not for some controversial cause.. and I'm not claiming to be donating money in their names.. . Picking some grab bag charity is totally different, IMO. I understand that you guys probably get asked the question a lot but the <strong>harsh nastiness is completely unnecessary</strong>. It's a wedding message board you're going to constantly get new people.. and get the repetitive questions... if you can't leave out the snark, maybe it's time you moved on.
Posted by beckles403@aol.com[/QUOTE]
OP was the one who posted the harsh rant including all the typing in all caps. Maybe you should address this to her.
Planning Bio
Philly Siggy Challenge: The Ring!
[QUOTE]I totally agree, donating in lieu of favors is a great idea. Here is one option for a couple that loves dogs and cats
Posted by jenna burkett[/QUOTE]
Would you stop spamming the boards with crap please
[QUOTE]How about instead of wasting money on flowers you donate? Or wasting money on programs, or fancy invitations or chair covers? Truth of the matter is people spend money on a lot of complete junk for weddings, and yet the only thing a bride can ever seem to part with is favors. That is my beef with it. It would be a million, billion times more meaningful if a bride donated in lieu of something meant for herself, rather than something intended for her guests.
Posted by mcskatcat[/QUOTE]
This....
[QUOTE]Jeezz I don't know why people get so upset on this boards on what other people do at their wedding! If they want to donate let them donate, if they dont want to then let it go! I think people can state their opinion and move on without getting snarky( save it for the snarky bride board) we are all here to help eachother and give advice for one of the biggest days of our lifes! A lot of the times I'll read post of people asking advice on something they have already chosen to do and is just asking for advice on how to execute it, and instead their bogged down with post on how terrible or not proper their original choice is! As corny as it is " can't we all just get along?"
Posted by Raquel928[/QUOTE]
Bouya! Well said...alot of these message boards seem to have women who are quick to get snippy. It does seem like most of the brides have decided to do something and are just asking for others who have done the same to help with ideas. If that's not something you are deciding to do for your own reasons and opinions....great. Whatever floats your boat...ladies. Hold back on the caps and the labeling of who can be labeled as an AW. Some of you previously stated you donate time and money to charities all the time but you don't announce it...eeehheemmmm. Hope everyone's wedding is everything THEY envision!
Now i need some advice about favors...lol JKJKJK
[QUOTE]How about instead of wasting money on flowers you donate? Or wasting money on programs, or fancy invitations or chair covers? Truth of the matter is people spend money on a lot of complete junk for weddings, and yet the only thing a bride can ever seem to part with is favors. That is my beef with it. It would be a million, billion times more meaningful if a bride donated in lieu of something meant for herself, rather than something intended for her guests.
Posted by mcskatcat[/QUOTE]
I love this. Exactly. And why do you have to announce it?