Family "Photographer" etiquette

cherdeeca

My wonderful fiance has a father that thinks he's a photographer and insists on shooting our wedding.  We've tried the approach of saying, "We want you there as a dad, not a photographer" and, "We want you to enjoy the day just as much as we are."  Nothing is working.  I know he just wants to help us out and save us some money but he's being stubborn.  We have a photographer we want to use and she's available.  I suggested to my fiance that we send him a link to her website so that he can see how amazing she is but he said he'd never see the difference.  With the holidays coming up, I don't want it to be a point of contention so any suggestions on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.  (I know that saying point blank, "This is our wedding and ..." is an option but a more passive way with him is best until absolutely necessary.) Thanks!

Tanq&Tonic

Can you give him a role that would prevent him from properly photographing?  Eg, including the groom's parents in the processional, give FFIL a reading during the ceremony, etc?  I assume if he's busy doing wedding 'stuff' he will realize he can't both capture those moments and participate.

Otherwise, maybe try letting him know that you've been telling other poeple as well that you want them to be guests and not vendors, so if you let him, it will be a major slap in the face to the others?

Tough situation -- I sympathize!

cherdeeca

That's a good suggestion.  Maybe we'll have him do a reading, he'd like that! Fingers crossed!  Thank you!

angybanez

Not only give him a job in the ceremony so he's not jumping around, tell him he can be the back-up for the reception and or cocktail hour so this way for the ceremony all he's doing is sitting down and enjoying his child getting married!

toothpastechica

If he is any good at all....maybe you can suggest he be a 'candid photographer' and just focus on candids and guests at the reception...that way he wont be in the way of the photographer who is trying to get the formal shots.