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shower/reception planning help

amyg25amyg25
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in Pre-wedding Parties
Hey, girls! I need some help. My fiancée and I currently live in Tennessee, but we want to get married in Savannah GA closer to the majority of his family and because it's an awesome city. I am not originally from TN, but VA and I want to incorporate the family and friends in VA in the celebration since I don't plan on anyone else but family making the trek to GA. So that leaves 3 cities to consider for showers and receptions. Should I have two showers, one in TN and one in VA or a reception afterwards in each city? A shower in TN is obvious but it's the one in VA that's bothering me. To me, it seems like a shower should be less expensive to throw and I would rather have these celebrations before the wedding so things aren't drug out so long and we can get on with our lives together as soon as we get back from the honeymoon. Is a pre-reception a possibility? Because I don't want to just call it a shower and worry about people thinking I'm only coming home for gifts. I've seen articles on two city wedding and reception planning, but never for three cities and I'm about stumped for ideas. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!!!
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Re: shower/reception planning help

  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Invite everyone to your wedding in Georgia who you want at your wedding. It would be rude to include anyone in pre-wedding parties who is not invited to the wedding. They would be asked to give a gift for an event they weren't important enough to attend. It would also be questionable to have a reception for them, but not invite them to the ceremony. It's not like you're getting married in France.You don't pay for or host showers, as Retread said. Not something you need to worry about. Traditionally, your mother wouldn't be able to hold a shower for you either, but most people don't think that's out of place these days.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    And FYI, showers are hed 4-6 weeks before your wedding. So if you really want to travel that close to your wedding and someone throws you a shower in one of those cities... uh, go for it. I'm thinking you'll only get a shower in TN, though. And please don't ask anyone to throw it. Your friends will do it if they can and want to. If not, you don't get one.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Invite everyone to the wedding that you two would like there.If people would like to throw you multiple showers then that's fine.  It's up to other people to throw them for you and not up to you to throw them for yourself though.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ditto pps:  Short answers:Invite who you want to invite to your wedding.  They either attend or they don't.Showers are given closer to the wedding, so it's really much to early to be even THINKING about showers now.You DON'T plan your own showers.  If friends or family or WP want to throw you a shower, they will.  If they don't, you don't have a shower.Hosts of the shower can ask your advice for the guest list, but that's about it.  And when they ask for guest list, do not include anyone who also isn't on the wedding guest list.
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    First you do not plan the shower or showers. Showers are always held before the wedding Showers are not thrown by the bride and groom but instead by others who offer you the gift of a shower Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to showers You only get shower or showers if someone offers Also Va and Ga are not that far apart I woudl expect most of yoru close friends and family will travel between those places in order to attend your actual wedding if invited. ONLY THOSE INVITED TO THE WEDDING MAY BE INVITED TO ANY PREWEDDING EVENTS
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  • jinxed8605jinxed8605
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You DONT PLAN AND HOST YOUR OWN SHOWERS! That is gift-grabby since showers are GIFT GIVING EVENTS.I am having 2 showers in March/April, getting married in May. My mother and grandmother are hosting one for me in Seattle that I have to fly to (I live in Atlanta) and my FMIL is hosting one for me here.  None of my attendants can afford to host anything and told me so when I asked them to stand for me and I said that was fine. I just wanted them to stand for me (I paid for all their dresses/accessories) because they were important to me.The guest list is dictated by the wedding guest list.  If they aren't on the wedding guest list, they don't get invited to the shower. That doesn't mean you invite every female on the wedding guest list to the shower.  Whoever decides to host a shower for you will generally ask for a guest list from you (most of them don't know who is invited to the wedding). I am sticking to family and close friends.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My advice: Cool your jets. Your wedding is in a YEAR so of course no one has mentioned shower planning yet. And as others have said, showers are thrown FOR you, not BY you. Someone will offer to throw one. But like normal people, it won't come up until very close to your wedding. I first heard rumblings of one about two months before and the shower was held three days before my wedding (so my whole extended family could be there).
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