BYO...lunch???

manda1933

My bridal party is throwing me a shower in May and they have basically asked if they can have it at my house (everyone either rents or lives at least 3 hours away).Also, a couple bm's apparently complained, to my two maid of honors, about the cost of having it at a restaurant.

First off, I am a little nervous because I am throwing my fiancée a graduation party for grad school the day before. We are having it the day after this party because his family will be flying from across the country for the graduation and wanted to be included in the shower.

To cut costs, a couple girls said that they wanted to do a potluck. Am I crazy about being stressed about having my own bridal shower at my house and for the girls asking everyone to not only bring a gifft but also some food?

HobokensFury

Guests should not be expected to pay for/ bring anything to your party. This idea is a no go.

NYCMercedes

You are correct. It's either food for a girls get together or it's a gift for a bridal shower. One or the other. I wish you were not in this situation. It's almost as if the BM's aren't hosting, just being the facilitators.

MairePoppy

There is nothing wrong with having the shower at your own home, as long as someone other than you or your fi hosts it. Guests shouldn't be asked to bring or pay for the refreshments. Your bms could keep it simple - a cake and punch shower, ice cream social, or wine and cheese party.

slgirl21

Doing a pot luck is rude and it shouldn't be done. Your bridal party with the help of your mom and/or MIL should provide the food and drinks and decorations and guest should just show up and enjoy themselves. having it at your house is not a bad idea either, but make sure your not there while they are setting up, have your FI take your out somewhere and have him drop you off you shouldn't set up your own bridal shower. GL

emeejeeayen

I would assume that each of your bridesmaids would also bring something to a potluck lunch. From the way you wrote your post, it seems like there are more than three bridesmaids? Three+ girls should be able to make enough food for a shower without spending too much money. Big salad, baked mac & cheese, whole roasted chicken - all of these are simple, inexpensive and feed a lot of people. If purchasing a sheetcake is too expensive, you can certainly make one from a box or from scratch very easily.

I'm just saying it seems like the easiest fix is to have each bridesmaid bring something over that's pre-made to serve guests. Then no one has to cook in your kitchen after you've just hosted a grad party, etc, and your guests don't have to bring anything either. 

manda1933

Thank you all for your input! I agree that the guests should not bring food so I spoke with the girls and said that I could have it at my home but I would prefer that guests not bring any food. Everyone seemed to agree so all should be good! Thank you again!