Pre-wedding Parties

"non-bachelorette" party

hi ladies! i was just wondering, has anyone else kind of gone against the whole "bachelorette party" theme? my bridesmaids are hosting a "non-bachelorette" party for me after the holidays, and i'm so excited! instead of going out to bars or clubs, we're staying in at my MOH's house, making appetizers, margaritas, and just having an all-out girls' night! has anyone had a party like this/planning one?

Re: "non-bachelorette" party

  • danieliza1127danieliza1127
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    Sure, it's done, whatever you want to do is fine. 

    For my bachelorette party, we went out to eat at The Melting Pot and then went back to my house and stayed up talking and drinking wine.  Then the next day we went to a local winery and did wine tasting and had a picnic outside.  It was great!
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  • dianenjnjdianenjnj
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    your idea sounds great...much better than hanging out at bars and getting sloshed!
  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    Sounds like fun.  It's quite a common occurence because not everyone likes to go out drinking.
  • edited December 2011
    Absolutely -- I will do the same thing.  I think my BMs and I, plus a few other close girlfriends, will either do something at home or go to the spa.  I did the bar scene in my early 20s... and now I'm done!
  • edited December 2011
    That sounds like a great idea! I dont like the whole bar-hopping-while-wearing-a-tiara-and-sash thing either, so we're probably doing a co-ed party. If we don't, then I'd probably start the evening with some drinks at my place, then maybe hit up a low-key bar with my friends, but not the whole clubbing/drunkfest. its just not me. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I definitely agree with the other girls. It's whatever you want and feel comfortable with. I feel like you, I don't like getting trashed and am not a fan of having a stripper. That gives me an idea to give to my MOH and BM's as well. Thanks!
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  • nicholskaseynicholskasey
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    edited December 2011
    My bridesmaids and I did the same thing. A woman that is a good friend of my family booked a hotel room as a shower gift.

    That night, we went out to get our nails done, ate dinner at the hotel, and make our own desserts in the room. Then we watched romance movies and played games. It was so much fun!
  • edited December 2011
    I'm doing something really similar.  My MOH is having about twenty of our closest girlfriends to her family beach house for a long weekend about a month before my wedding.  I think the fake veil and pink sash with penis accessories is extremely tacky and knew it wasn't for me.  Instead, we're going to relax and go to the beach, etc.

    I think looking back on your wedding memories, you'll be happier doing that than having a crazy night taking shots with strangers at a bar.
  • texaslolamytexaslolamy
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    It's all about what you want to do..your idea sounds great. Me and my friends are hanging out at my friend's house, but also having drinks, so we are getting the best of both worlds. We're decorating t-shirts together the day of to wear then having a sharpie party (where you all sign shirts) that night. I'm really excited!
  • turtle3808turtle3808
    First Comment
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    edited December 2011
    I think that sounds great.  For mine, the night before my shower (since everyone was in town), we went to a baseball game as a big group, one of the last of the season.  I still had the sash & veil, but it was fun, no pressure for drinking  or crazy sex themed scavenger hunts, and my team won!  Strippers skeeve me out and I never have more than 1 drink, so I was glad my girls came up with something I really enjoyed.  Nothing wrong with doing what you're most comfortable with!
  • edited December 2011
    I love your ideas! I stay in a lot and have friends over - those are some of the best times!

    We are going out for mine,  but no club for me!

    We are going to a drag show in Boston (we have a table to ourselves),  then we are going to a bar that has a mechanical bull (getting a table there too).    I still love to go out on occaision,  and many of my friends have kids at home and would LOVE a night out.   The night is going to be pretty cheap too,  expense was a concern of mine!

    I hate the tiara- penis stuff too.  I am too old for that!!

    Have fun!


  • edited December 2011
    I did the same thing for my sister when she was having her wedding.  It didnt' make sense to us to take her out the bar and embarrass her, (she would have hated that) and she had already eloped a year before her ceromony.  She loved the idea and had so much fun.  I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate for her.  I think the best thing you can do is match the party to the person, so if you are not a bar hopping drinker it doesn't make sense to do that.
  • edited December 2011
    I love that idea!  I wasn't planning on doing one, but my Maid of Honor seems bummed about not having a party.  I was thinking that since this is a 2nd marriage for both of us we are wanting to update some kitchen items maybe I could do a pampered chef party and just using the points (or how ever they do it) to upgrade/replace.  What do any of you think?  Tacky?
  • edited December 2011
    We are doing mine the day of my shower. After the shower, we will go to my place for a while for a glass of wine and gabbing, then just go have dinner at one of my favorite neighborhood restaurants. Very simple and not anything crazy.
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  • rlyttlerlyttle
    10 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    My cousin did this and we had a blast!! We drank, ate, and played games. Her MOH did such a great job planning. We played a game where her MOH previously video taped her fiance answering questions. We asked my cousin the questions then played her fiance's answer. We were all dying laughing!! We had a great night!!
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  • lindseroolindseroo
    100 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    That's great!  I was in a wedding in August, and we actually did a girls' night in all because of me (I am only 20...sigh).  The bride's mom rented us a big room in a nice hotel, and we hung out there, drinking wine (not me, of course...lol) and watching movies.  It was fun!  You could think about doing it at a hotel.  If everyone pitched in it wouldn't be too expensive, and it was nice to have access to the pool and hot tub.
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  • Ishaba11Ishaba11
    1000 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    That is exactly what I told my MOH i wanted. She knows I'm not the going out on the town type and I would much rather a girl night in with some drinks and movies.
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  • katybookatyboo
    10 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    I was not in for wearing a silly veil/t-shirt getting trashed, Hmmhmm-shaped favors, etc!  We actually had a small group of girls go wine tasting, then to the Melting Pot (so the reverse order of yours, Danieliza!!)... it was great!  The wine tasting was fun - I had never done that before, and it's hard to go wrong with a good dinner!  It was a small group (everybody's kind of scattered around and really busy with second degrees, families, kids, etc.), but it was great :)
  • edited December 2011
    I soooo love that idea! I think that sounds like a blast! That is sort of what I am kinda wanting for my bachelorette party too! My girls are still trying to figure out what to do for mine and I am pushing something like this because I think that it sounds like a great time and way better than being out going from bar to bar.
  • edited December 2011
    I think having a spa party is a good idea. It helps you relax prior to the wedding, and get the beauty treatments you'd be having anyway.

    Here is a link to some suggestions for a bridesmaid's spa party.

    http://blog.spalibrations.com/2009/07/spa-party-of-month-everythings-comin-up.html

    a game night would be fun too.
  • edited December 2011
    I told my MOHs that my perfect bachelorette party would be going out to a bar/restaurant for one or two rounds of drinks (just for the "bachelorette-party experience") and dancing and then back to one of my MOHs' apartments for a girls-night in full of sweets, margaritas, and movies.  I don't really see the need to spend the entire night out, getting smashed at various bars.  Too much money for a night i probably wouldn't remember.  I think your idea sounds great.  Enjoy your non-bachelorette!!
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm not a big partier either, so we are going to a baseball game at the brand new Twins Target Field and then just going home to watch movies, play games and hang out. I think its a great idea, and like others have said: its all about what you are comfortable with and whats going to make the night memorable for you.
  • ajakubecajakubec
    First Comment
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    edited December 2011
    We are doing a joint party for like a weekend away. We're gunna split up the girls & guys in the hotel....do some activities with our friends, then meet up for some as well. Hopefully it will be a good time!
  • edited December 2011
    I'm opting out of a bach party since half my bridal party is on the other side of the country.  Instead, I am going to go out for fondue and a movie with FMIL and one of my bridesmaids the night that FI goes for his bach party.
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  • toethumbstoethumbs
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Most people I know don't do any of that for their bachelorette (or bachelor) parties...I don't plan to either. You can still call it a bachelorette party; your friends know it'll be a clean bachelorette party (especially if they know you well). I have a feeling the whole clubbing/drinking thing is not actually the norm...and strippers?! All that says is "I am not willing to be committed to this person." Chuck it in the trash...
  • ssnader210ssnader210
    First Comment
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    edited December 2011

    my friends brought me to a wine tasting at a local winery, then rented a large motel room and they each brought something for us to eat/drink with champagne gifts and lots of pictures/old yearbooks. We went swimming reminisced and had an amazing time without ever leaving to go to a bar.  It was perfect since I am not a huge lover of the whole sash/tiarra/men-buying-me-shots scene. I wouldnt have changed it and it was cost efficient, too! If thats more your style, from one bride to another, I would make sure your friends know what you're looking to do. Luckily mine did! Enjoy it all!!!

  • fallbride1109fallbride1109
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
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    edited December 2011
    I had a lingerie party in my suite at the hotel which was also my venue the Thursday night before the wedding.  Beforehand we went to dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant.  It was the perfect night.  I love all of these ideas, they all sound like a blast to me! 
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