...and it gets better...

fireytiger

Hey all, I'm sure you may remember when I posted about how my BMs who are throwing my shower, invited people who aren't invited to the wedding, and how i'm pretty embarrassed about that. Well, it gets better. The main host of the shower just told me yesterday that she's having it at Olive Garden, which I thought, that won't be so bad. But then I found out that she's expecting the guests to pay for their own meals at the shower, and put that on the invitations... auuuuggghhhh.....

Damage control? Help please? I really don't want anyone to pay for their own meals but I KNOW she's not going to pay for everyone to eat at Olive Garden, she can't afford it. And I don't even know at this point how I can pay for the remainder of my wedding, let alone fork out a couple hundred bucks to spare myself further embarrassment in this.

kgorman307

WHOAH. Did the invites already go out?

I would talk to the BMs and decline the "shower" if they haven't invited anyone yet. If invitaitons have already gone out, maybe the bridesmaids can call Olive Garden and see if there is any way they can host what they can afford? Appetizers, salad, etc? Not sure how they'd update the guests on that though.

And, how on earth did they word this on an invitation? "Make sure you bring some money because we're not buying your lunch. Oh but the bride is registered at XYZ" ?? yikes.

You may want to XP this on the etiquette board too.

fireytiger

Yeah, it's a mess. As far as i'm aware they already invited everyone. I'm going to try and do some damage control. Luckily they set it up to be during lunchtime, so maybe I can let everyone know that we're going to provide soup, salad, breadsticks for everyone, and they can pay for anything in addition to that they might like to have. That way it's only 7 bucks a person, and I'm not expecting more than 10 people to actually show up, so 100 dollars at most after tax and tip. Then I can talk to the 2 BMs and see if they can cover that, or if we should split it three ways? I'm just on constant stress mode because of this thing, and it's really sad because I shouldn't have to be.

fireytiger

well, I didn't think I would tell them after the fact "hey, you need to pay for X amount". I thought I would work with the two BMs who are trying to host this thing ASAP, and talk to them about what they can and can't afford, because it's totally inappropriate to be "hosting" a shower and making other people pay for their own way. I'm just thinking, those two are hosting it, so if I make it clear ASAP that someone OTHER than the guests needs to pay for this, maybe we can come to a compromise.

butterflyroy78

I would declin this shower immediatly. This reflects on you, so all of your friends are say why the heck would she do this??? I know this bc my sister was just invited to a pot luck shower and she was like "NO WAY AM I GOING TO THIS! I CANNOT BELIEVE SUZY WOULD HAVE THIS KIND OF SHOWER!"