Am I Going Overboard? (Bachlorette Party...)

csm6144

Hello!
My fiance' and I are having a very untradional wedding. One of the main traditions we are breaking is by having girls on his side and a boy on mine, but most of the bridal party is made up of mutual friends. We have decided to have a joint bachlor/bachlorette party. Though the bridal party is friends with both of us, they are not close friends with each other. To make it easier my fiance' and I started to plan out the bachlor/bachlorette party so that everyone can be involved and have fun. We did ask everyone for ideas and suggestions. But all everyone wanted to do was go to the bars - not my thing and the MOH is underage. So we tried to come up with other ideas (like camping, bad 80's movies night, etc) but most of our bridal party was not excited about any of the other ideas.

So the question - Should I keep trying to come up with ideas that will include everyone or should I just let them plan it all? I also know it is untraditional for the bride to plan it all but it seemed easiest at the time.... Maybe I was wrong to assume that.

FayeValentine69

In my opinion, it's never okay for a bride to plan her own bach party.  That's like buying your own birthday gift and then signing the card with it to say it's from your friends.  It's a gift TO you.

deepcovejackie

Yeah, I agree with pp's.  Stop trying to plan a party in your honour.   It's an etiquette no-no.

juliebaranowski

i know a couple that also had a joint Bachlor/bachlorette party. they rented a party bus and went around just dancing and having fun on the bus, they stopped and got pizza and that way whoever wants to drink can but its not like the underage MOH would feel excluded ethier for not being allowed to go to a bar.

SuMmErKuTiE

Ditto pp's it's not proper to host your own bachelor/bachelorette party because the party is a gift that is thrown in your honor. Let your wedding party plan the b-parties and stop worrying yourself about something that should be thrown for you not by you.

On another note, we kind of had a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. My MOH and DH's Best Man rented a party bus that took us to Mohegan Sun (a big Vegas type casino in CT which is where we lived at the time). The party bus was coed, but when we got to the casino, I split up with my girls and went to one of the clubs, and DH went off with the guys to hit up some other bars and poker tables. It was a lot of fun, and everyone loved the coed part on the party bus, but we still got to be with "the girls" and " the guys".

redheadtmk

You should not be planning your own party. It is ok to give them parameters such as no bars/drinking and making sure they know the MOH is underage. I am not sure what the laws are state to state with minor in posession etc if you rented a bus and for some reason got pulled over, and they found a minor in a bus full of alchol. I would be careful. If they are not into 80's movies etc then let them come up with something else that they would enjoy. Just make it clear you will decline anything that has alcohol or bars if that is what they decide.

csousa1

I agree that you shouldn't plan your own party, but I understand stepping in a bit in this case. If you think your WP wouldn't be considerate in respecting the fact that you blatantly do not want to go to bars, not to mention that it would exclude a very important member of the WP, then I can see why you would try to come up with ideas. But I think if you have made it clear what the boundaries are and you know they will respect that, then let it go and let them run with it. One less headache for you

teetee3482

I understad what you are trying to do... Im in the same boat kind of. 3 of my 7 bridesmaids are underage. Our plan is to do something fun during the day that we can all enjoy (spa day by the pool and maybe an arcade) and then fun grown up things at night!

csm6144

Thanks everyone! I messaged everyone about how sorry I was for "taking over" and  set my guidelines of no bars, etc if anyone else wanted to plan it. So far 4 of the 10 have said they would prefer if I continue to plan it and the others haven't replied. So... I have put all planning for that on hold until I hear from everyone. If not then it is possible that we may not be getting a bachlor/bachlorette party.

You all have great ideas. Thanks for them and for giving advice!