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cocktail party for people not invited to wedding?

camieccamiec
in Pre-wedding Parties
 My mom seems to think we should have a cocktail party for some people who are not invited to the wedding who live in the area. However, isn't it rude to invite these people to that but not to the wedding? My wedding is in the area where my mother lives and she has many friend there that we are not invited to the party due to space and budget reasons. Presents would of course not be expected.
What do you all think?
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Re: cocktail party for people not invited to wedding?

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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

    The only possible way this is acceptable is if it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the wedding.  As in:  your mom was throwing a cocktail party for her friends, and you're just another invited guest at the non-wedding related get together.

    If it's at all wedding related.  No.  You're right.  Mom's wrong.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's a good idea.  I think it would look like a gift grab, even if you're not expecting presents.  It would also be kind of like a tiered reception, where some people get the consolation cocktail party.
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    Lisa8888Lisa8888
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp. Looks like a gift grab. Bad idea.
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    mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Bad idea.  How does your mom plan to word the invites.  "just to make sure it's clear you are not invited to my daughters wedding, but you can come to the cocktail party later"

    Now I will say I was invited to a post-reception get together when I was not invited to the wedding or reception. However,  the B&G were under extreme space limitations and I understood the situation.  But to hold a whole party for the people not invited is just not cool.
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    SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, please don't do this. You are right and your mom is wrong. There's no polite way to invite people to part of the wedding festivities without including them in the wedding itself.
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    melliott09melliott09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This was my question as well!! So it's nice to see the answers!
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    twilight.rosetwilight.rose member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Even doing it after the wedding seems like it might come across as a "consolation prize" for people who weren't invited to the main affair.

    I would refrain entirely, or at least, if you host one after the wedding, make sure it isn't directly related to the wedding.
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    stephdonjonstephdonjon
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yikes! Yeah, definitely not a good idea. I can't imagine a bigger slap in the face than: "You weren't invited to the wedding, so here's a consolation prize." Plus, they might feel like they should bring you a gift, which isn't fair to them.
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    sabatronsabatron member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    For the love of all things good and right, please don't do this. People will gossip endlessly about you. Seriously.
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    CynthiaJHCynthiaJH member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hear the "Danger-Abort" alrams going off! Don't do this!!! Tell Mom no way. If she asks why show her this post....
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