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Pre-wedding Parties

Eloping but still throwing a Bridal Shower?

A friend of mine got engaged Sept 2010. They set their date for July 16th 2011. In March 2011, they decided not to have a wedding afterall, but to elope and get married in Costa Rica instead. None of the family or friends can afford to go because of the 4 month notice. She still wanted a bridal shower thrown for her. What is everyone's opinion on the etiquette of a situation like this?
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Re: Eloping but still throwing a Bridal Shower?

  • edited December 2011
    Did your friend invite everyone to Costa Rica, and it's their choice not to attend, or did she not invite anyone?  If people are not invited to the wedding, they should not be invited to any prewedding parties.  It's a tradeoff of choosing to have a small wedding. 

  • OBX2011OBX2011
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited December 2011
    Personally I think it's in poor taste.  Granted it was her choice to elope but it seems somewhat "look at me, look at me" and very "gift-grabby" to have a shower to celebrate the bride and her wedding.............that no one can attend.

    I say no shower on this one.

     

  • edited December 2011
    As far as I know there will be no formal invitation to Costa Rica because there will not be a big ceremony there. This is a last minute change, they were supposed to have a wedding here in town and had planned on that for 6+ months, then in March told us that they were going to Elope. All the bridesmaid had already purchased their dresses to stand in the normal wedding that was supposed to be here in town. They ended up not being able to afford to have the wedding here, so they decided to elope. Their parents won't even be attending.
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Eloping but still throwing a Bridal Shower?:
    Personally I think it's in poor taste.  Granted it was her choice to elope but it seems somewhat "look at me, look at me" and very "gift-grabby" to have a shower to celebrate the bride and her wedding.............that no one can attend. I say no shower on this one.
    Posted by OBX2011
    I agree with this.
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  • banana468banana468
    10000 Comments Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    No invited wedding guests = no shower. You can't have it both ways.
    Thenimage Nowimage
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Eloping but still throwing a Bridal Shower?:
    A friend of mine got engaged Sept 2010. They set their date for July 16th 2011. In March 2011, they decided not to have a wedding afterall, but to elope and get married in Costa Rica instead. None of the family or friends can afford to go because of the 4 month notice. She still wanted a bridal shower thrown for her. What is everyone's opinion on the etiquette of a situation like this?
    Posted by jodylou
    She could have a shower but the only people who should be invited have to have been invited to the wedding.  If no one was invited, then no, she is out of luck and should have thought about that before if it was important to her.

    Honestly my opinion beyond that is that she shouldn't have a shower *after* the wedding anyway but I don't know if that's etiquette or me being a curmudgeon.
  • cassandrancassandran
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Tacky to have a shower if you are eloping. They aren't invited to your wedding so you shouldn't have a shower to just get presents from your friends.
  • Loren2207Loren2207
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    I do not think that it is tack to have a bridal shower.  Sometime people elope because of money.  Why is it wrong to celebrate with the people you love since you can not afford to have a wedding?
    kellyJbrown
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