Sharing a Bridal Shower

CowgirlK39

My FSIL is getting married almost exactly a month before us. We had our date first, and due to money problems, she kept pushing her existing date back further and further until it was right against ours. She asked me if that was ok and I told her I personally do not mind, but she had best ask her family if they could deal with two weddings that close together.

My mom recently suggested that she and I either share a shower (to make it easier on her fam) or I attend hers, and then have a small one for just my family at a later time. I just don't know if having them at the same time will save her family (My FI's side) anything. The only convenience would be for OOT family on her side to be able to do both at once. Honestly, I don't care if I have a shower or not, but still want to make sure she and I are on the same page to avoid conflicting plans.

Do you think having them together is a good idea? Would it actually save her family/my in laws any money at all?

MairePoppy

Has someone from your fi's side of the shower asked your mom about combining the showers? It might be helpful if the shower is for his side of the family only. But I wouldn't suggest it to anyone. Let them bring it up.

And I like the idea of you having a shower, just for you, with your side of the family. The MOG and his sister should recieve courtesy invites to your shower. It's ok if they don't want to attend, but they should feel welcome.

CowgirlK39

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_sharing-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:4f5eac0d-f72b-40c2-aaad-482147affbb1Post:5f00742e-c3cd-4d19-afeb-f04a46b79890">Re: Sharing a Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Has someone from your fi's side of the shower asked your mom about combining the showers? Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

No, they haven't even talked about a shower for their own daughter, at all. I feel very bad for my FSIL, because every time she tries to ask her family for help with the wedding, her mom always says "No one helped me with my wedding!" FMIL then complains to me that FSIL doesn't talk about plans with her. She wants to know everyone's plans, but doesn't want to have to do anything. My mom stepped in so we can be as accomodating as possible to their side of the family since these weddings are so close.

MairePoppy

That's sad for your FSIL.

There's still plenty of time to plan showers for  August and September weddings.You could just take a wait and see approach. If your FILs want to plan a shower for the two of you, it would be nice for the oot guests.

[Deleted User]

I had to share our engagement party, I was not happy. We set our date for our E party during a school break We had it planned for 5 months. Three months after we got engaged my sister got engaged to her BF of 7 months. They were having there wedding before ours so was rushing it all. We were asked about sharing my and my FI E-party. We let my mom know that we would prefer to have our own. We do not have the same friends, and we didn't know her FI that well. My mom forced me too, even when I said no. Unfortunately because she forced it on us we were not very happy about anything that had to do with their wedding. We were both told to make guest lists and to remember we were having them in a house, so we wouldn't be able to invite everyone. Our list was about 12 of our friends not including our family's and my sisters was 40. So overall the E-party was for her because she had so many people and it was awkward. I was thankful we got one but we would have rather not had one because of the situation. If both of you AGREE to have it together and are really okay with it go for it, but if not then say no. Your wedding events should be separate. It is supposed to be about you and your FI.