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Pre-wedding Parties

Why can't the bride and groom throw their own engagement party?

My fiance and I want to have an engagement party but all the posts I have read here say that anyone BUT the bride and groom can throw the party.

Why is that? Can't we throw Our own party?

Re: Why can't the bride and groom throw their own engagement party?

  • edited December 2011
    i just posted this on some other thread! We had our own, a few couples in a cabin for a weekend. it was a ton of fun. as much as i wanted the big ordeal, it was really great to kick back with just friends. all my bridal party is out of town or was busy so it was small and just a fun weekend of being happy. it's your wedding, do it the way you want. if you want to throw an engagement party, why not?
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice :) What you did sounds like it was a lot of fun!
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    The reason you shouldn't throw your own engagement party is because you and your fiancé would be the guest of honors. It's poor etiquette to throw a party where you are your own guest of honor. ESPECIALLY since engagement parties are often gift giving events. If you want to have a get together where your families meet or just to have fun, totally go for it. Just don't call it an engagement party and leave the wedding talk out of it. HTH!
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Sounds to me like you want to celebrate your engagement with a party. Why don't you throw yourself the party and mark your invitations "your presence is present enough". Traditionally, engagement parties are not gift giving events but, the numbers are growing in the amount of people who bring gifts to an engagement party.
    Alison - Too stupid to upload a pic
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Why can't the bride and groom throw their own engagement party?:
    Sounds to me like you want to celebrate your engagement with a party. Why don't you throw yourself the party and mark your invitations "your presence is present enough". Traditionally, engagement parties are not gift giving events but, the numbers are growing in the amount of people who bring gifts to an engagement party.
    Posted by afeith6658
    I wouldn't mention gifts on the invitation. It makes it sound like you were expecting gifts, which is presumptuous. Notes like that make people feel inclined to bring something, regardless if they were originally planning to or not.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah that was our plan. We don't want gifts for this event, we just want to be able to celebrate with friends and family.

    So is that appropriate to put on the invitations? "Your presence is present enough" or something.

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Why can't the bride and groom throw their own engagement party?:
    Yeah that was our plan. We don't want gifts for this event, we just want to be able to celebrate with friends and family. So is that appropriate to put on the invitations? "Your presence is present enough" or something.
    Posted by LIzBurke3
    No - because that should NEVER be written on any invitation.   Some people think, "Should I have thought of giving them a gift??" and others think, "But should I still give them a gift?"

    And then there are those who think, "They only write that because they DO want gifts!!"

    Instead, host a get together, don't call it an engagement party and don't mention gifts.
  • cebrady89cebrady89 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Host your own engagement party, and call it an engagement party.

    There's no sense in masking what you are considering an engagement party by saying it's just a get together.

    As for wedding related events not being about the couple once others are involved...um, what? What guest assumes that the minute they walk into an engagement party/shower/reception that the guests of honor are no longer the guests of honor because regular guests have arrived? Yeah, make your guests comfortable, I get that....but it IS your wedding, and you ARE the guests of honor. 
  • edited December 2011
    I've always wondered the same thing myself, and I'm just not understanding the answers here. Of course the engagement party is about you, no matter who hosts it. The wedding is about you too, but it's ok to host your own wedding. And I've never heard that you shouldn't host your own birthday party. I do it every year. Why shouldn't i? 

    And holding a party, and then going out of your way to not call it an engagment party is just weird to me. People will still call it an engagement party anyway. Why mask it? A friend of mine had a combined engagement/birthday party a couple years ago, nobody batted an eye, the thought that it might be rude never crossed my mind. What's wrong with holding a party to celebrate a joyous event? 

    I'm really not looking to start a fight, I've always jsut kind of accepted it, but I just don't get it, is all. And saying "It's rude" doesn't make sense to me either, I really don't see how it's rude to host a party for yourselves.
  • My fiance family and my family live in two different states, but about 4 hours away. So my fianc and I had a BBQ at our house we live together already and planned it with enough time for everyone to drive in and have a good time. We didn't do formal invites and didn't expect gifts. We just verbally said, we are having everyone over to celebrate and get to know each other before the stressful wedding planning nuttyness. : it worked great, we got a gift from each of our parents and my aunt gave us a pretty "love" frame. Otherwise, we just hung out, had burgers and beer and that's also when we "proposed" to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. I see no problem with this... Besides by this time it's not like you're registered anywhere yet, so it doesn't really seem like a ploy to get gifts. We had our engagement party 3weeka after he proposed. :
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