Showered with love...

kkpantzlaff

What an awsome dilemna.  I live in CA, but my wedding is in WI.  Except for immediate family, it is unlikely that many of our California friends will be able to make the trip.  We are planning on throwing a party either when we get back or on our 1st anniversary for the CA folks. 

That being said, both my mom and my MIL want to throw me showers, one in WI and one in CA.  I am so thrilled--and a bit sheepish about the attention.  (Both my ma and MIL both thrive on these kind of parties...)  

This morning, a woman I am very close to at my church (my "fake aunt") said she would like to throw me a shower and invite the ladies in the congregation.  I am so touched and thrilled she offered, but I am wondering if it is a terrible breech of etiquitte to accept.  I was not planning on inviting all the women of the congregation to the wedding (although, If I would, it is doubtful many could make the trip.)  The congregation is very small, and has very few young people (I am the first person at least 5 years to get married),so it has been a long time since anyone has had the oppritunity to have this kind of party at the church... 

Do I graciously accept all 3 offers?  Do I ask my MIL and fake aunt to share throwing me a shower, even though I could guarentee that there would be NO overlap in the guest list?  And do I invite all the wonderful women (and thier spouses) at the church to the wedding, even if it is unlikely they would make the trip?

I feel so spoiled and loved and shy even getting to ask this.  Getting married kicks ass!!!

danieliza1127

I really don't see anything wrong with inviting your church members to the wedding even though you think they can't come.  If you want them to come, you should invite them.  They'll make the decision whether to come or not, but regardless, they'll probably feel honored that you at least invited them.  If you do invite them, it sort of solves your dilemma because then you can let them throw the church shower for you and not feel like you're doing something wrong.  Remember though, if you invite them to the wedding, you need to include their spouses too.

If you can't or don't want to invite the church ladies to the wedding, one thing you could do is talk to your "fake aunt" and explain to her that while you would love to have the shower, you feel uncomfortable because you can't invite the women to the wedding.  See what she says.  She may say it's fine and they don't expect to be invited anyway.  In which case, I think you could go ahead and have the shower.