Pre-wedding Parties

Step Father Paying for RD - I feel weird and I know it's silly

As stated, my step-father offered to pay for the RD (mostly my FI family will be flying in from the west coast). We can't afford an RD so he offered to cover it which is very very nice of him. My dad died when I was 16 (I am 23 now, the wedding is in ~2 years) but I can't shake this weird feeling I get knowing my step-father is paying for a somewhat large portion of my wedding. My mom and FI's dad each are helping us pay for the main event so it's not like they (or we) can pay for it. I guess I just need someone to tell me what I already know that's not just my FI. I know it's fine, it just feels strange for no apparent reason.

Re: Step Father Paying for RD - I feel weird and I know it's silly

  • edited December 2011
    I'm sorry about your dad. It's fine to feel weird, you can't help that, but you're not doing anything wrong.

    Your step-dad obviously cares about you (and obviously your mom too). Furthermore, if he's married to your mom it's not really that different from her helping you out financially.
  • edited December 2011
    @ sister2groom: i think it might be part of the feeling weird, because my mom IS contributing and now he's contributing more... you know? I don't know, i don't want to come off as spoiled or complain-y, just wondering what others think i suppose.

  • edited December 2011
    What I meant was if Ann and Tom are married and Ann gives you $10 and Tom gives you $8, since they're a couple, it's pretty darn similar to Ann and Tom giving you $18 together (I mean, presumably they make a lot of their large financial decisions and commitments together).

    If he's giving it unprompted, that's not spoiled or complaining. Just show them the gratitude you're displaying here. Who's going to judge you for a freely-given gift your step-dad is giving you?
  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the above poster - since you already said your mom is contributing, I would be assuming that it's in some way connected to step-father's funds anyways.  Even if it's not, I would take this as a gesture of love - he clearly loves you much like he would love a daughter if he's helping with your wedding. 
    There's nothing wrong with that.  I would just be sure to show appreciation for that relationship. 

    I think your issues might be more with missing your own father than your feelings toward your stepfather, and I think that's fairly normal. 
  • edited December 2011
    thanks guys. yeah, they don't share finances so that's not the issue. thanks for all the feedback.
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