Rehersal Dinner

msdizzy4u

I need suggestions about our rehersal dinner.  Traditionally, the groom's parents should foot this bill. We are in our mid 30's (my first marriage, his second). He will not ask his parents to help out financially and they are not the type to offer.  So this rehersal dinner is going to fall back on us.  My fiance said he would pay for the dinner.  My dilemma is should we offer to pay for all of our attendents spouses/significant others or just our attendents.  We have 5 attendents on each side, plus flower girl (and her parents), my parents, his mother, his dad and step mother, my grandfather and his grandmother.  Is it wrong to invite just our attendents, but say their spouse/sig others are welcome to come on their own dime?  Help!!

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_rehersal-dinner-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:a9012940-8bf4-4cfa-870c-1fb577c7ee59Post:c5eed73d-cad8-4ce0-8539-18ebe402e560">Rehersal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]I need suggestions about our rehersal dinner.  Traditionally, the groom's parents should foot this bill. We are in our mid 30's (my first marriage, his second). He will not ask his parents to help out financially and they are not the type to offer.  So this rehersal dinner is going to fall back on us.  My fiance said he would pay for the dinner.  My dilemma is should we offer to pay for all of our attendents spouses/significant others or just our attendents.  We have 5 attendents on each side, plus flower girl (and her parents), my parents, his mother, his dad and step mother, my grandfather and his grandmother.  Is it wrong to invite just our attendents, but say their spouse/sig others are welcome to come on their own dime?  Help!!
Posted by msdizzy4u[/QUOTE]

Yes, it's wrong.  You need to include the significant other of your WP members, and you need to host them as well. How exactly would you see your idea working anyway?

You:  "Waiter:  we're paying for ourselves, our parents, our grandparents, and Don, Joe, Jason, Mark, Matt, Emily, Jessica, Ashley, Megan, and Gina.  Everyone else gets a check."

An RD doesn't have to be big and fancy.  It can be a backyard BBQ, or a pan of homemade lasagna back at someone's house.  It can be pizza and beer in the backroom of your favorite pizza place.  In fact, I prefer a laid-back RD before the busy wedding day.

banana468

Ditto Trix.

Your FI is right not to ask his parents to pay.   It's never appropriate to ask your parents to pay for anything actually.

And yes, if you  have an RD, that means inviting everyone who needs to be at the rehearsal with their SOs or parents if you have children in the wedding party.  It doesn't need to be pricey - but you can't be rude to your WP because someone else isn't paying for things.

aprilhaynes

We are in a similar situation. We are going simple.

You absolutely cannot leave out significant others and kids of your bridal party.

msdizzy4u

Thanks for your responses... we don't have anyones house to do this at that is not already involved.  I can't ask any of my attendants to put themselves out to have 35 people at their place the day before the wedding.  My family is out of state other than my sister and she will already have people staying with her.  His family is out of town so it's not conveinent.  We will spend just as much money to rent a place and bring in even "pot luck" food, than we would to just go to a restaurant.  So my dilemma is not solved.  Thanks though.

banana468

You can still make things creative.

What about going out for pizza?  Sandwiches?  A local diner where no meal is under $20??

Cut back from other things.  Postpone the honeymoon or just don't have a rehearsal.

But you can't have a rehearsal and not feed your guests AND their SOs.

msdizzy4u

We're just going to suck it up and pay for it.  And we're not doing a honeymoon until Spring, so that's a non-issue.  We have to have a rehersal, so that is not an option either.  Thanks for your opinions.

banana468

Also, if your ceremony venue has a hall space, you may be able to buy things like lasagnas that can serve a crowd.  Just an idea if you need to knock the budget down a ton.