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Bachelorette Party Vent

clairemarie82clairemarie82
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in Pre-wedding Parties
I want soooo bad to go to Whistler (about 4 hours from us in Seattle), and I told everyone 3 months ago to get the weekend off to go, and now they are all bailing because they don't want to go "that far".  I think that is ridiculous. 

 The BM's should ask the bride what she thinks the bach party means to her and then choose.  I want an adventure.  I used to voluntarily live in my car to drive from ski resort to ski resort and live in the parking lot of my favorite mountain or in a tent.  I was ALWAYS on an adventure, but after getting pregnant 4 years ago, I haven't had an adventure since.  I just want one last adventure like we used to have before I get married, but the girls don't seem to care what I want.  They want to go to the family cabin we visit every weekend.  Not and adventure to me.  I'm trying to find something else in the Seattle area, but it's all stuff we could do any night of the week....  I'm getting pretty bummed out, and wondering how I ever got in charge of making this plan anyway.  They asked where I wanted to go and what weekend 3 months ago.  I told them.  I have been calm and patient with 5 bridesmaids who don't return phone calls, can't make time just to have lunch, and decided to move to Hawaii and miss all pre-wedding functions on a whim....  I'm about to whip out the bridezilla on these ladies!!
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Re: Bachelorette Party Vent

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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You may need to whip out the bridezilla?  You are already there, lady.

    Your bridesmiads (or someone other than you) should be planning your bachelorette party.  Not YOU.  They can ask what you want, but they are under no obligation to follow through on that.  A bachelorette party is a gift to you that they are footing the bill for - be gracious and grateful that they want to plan you a party!

    I understand being bummed out that everyone is bailing, but everyone does have lives and fitting in a weekend away is sometimes difficult for everyone.  Be flexible and understanding - your friends will enjoy you more.

    I'm sorry that you haven't had an "adventure" since you had a baby, but maybe it's time to plan your own - one that doesn't involve your wedding or your friends.  Take your fiance, child, etc... and go do something!  Don't let all your hopes hinge on this one party.  You're going to be very dissappointed.

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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ba3ad428-01af-4419-8ace-2537b7aea47bPost:ac4a05bb-5063-47cf-ba3f-42536a898aa1">Bachelorette Party Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]I want soooo bad to go to Whistler (about 4 hours from us in Seattle), and I told everyone 3 months ago to get the weekend off to go, and now they are all bailing because they don't want to go "that far".  I think that is ridiculous.   The BM's should ask the bride what she thinks the bach party means to her and then choose.  I want an adventure.  I used to voluntarily live in my car to drive from ski resort to ski resort and live in the parking lot of my favorite mountain or in a tent.  I was ALWAYS on an adventure, but after getting pregnant 4 years ago, I haven't had an adventure since.  I just want one last adventure like we used to have before I get married, but the girls don't seem to care what I want.  They want to go to the family cabin we visit every weekend.  Not and adventure to me.  I'm trying to find something else in the Seattle area, but it's all stuff we could do any night of the week....  I'm getting pretty bummed out, and wondering how I ever got in charge of making this plan anyway.  They asked where I wanted to go and what weekend 3 months ago.  I told them.  I have been calm and patient with 5 bridesmaids who don't return phone calls, can't make time just to have lunch, and decided to move to Hawaii and miss all pre-wedding functions on a whim....  I<u><strong>'m about to whip out the bridezilla on these ladies!!</strong></u>
    Posted by clairemarie82[/QUOTE]

    Too late.  You don't get to choose the party.  You don't get to dictate what you do.  You get input on the date.  That's about it.

    No one is saying you can't have your adventure.  Go there.  Just don't expect your friends, who clearly don't want to go, perhaps can't afford to go,  to go AND to fund your "adventure".

    You're being terribly presumptuous.  If you have been "calm and patient" up to now, good for you.  Continue.  Oh~and perhaps it would be a lovely thing for you to actually thank your friends for whatever party they throw.  If they still want to.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You're acting like a spoiled brat.
    Married 10/2/10
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    arv266arv266
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:ba3ad428-01af-4419-8ace-2537b7aea47bPost:ac4a05bb-5063-47cf-ba3f-42536a898aa1">Bachelorette Party Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]I want soooo bad to go to Whistler (about 4 hours from us in Seattle), and I told everyone 3 months ago to get the weekend off to go, and now they are all bailing because they don't want to go "that far".  I think that is ridiculous.   The BM's should ask the bride what she thinks the bach party means to her and then choose.  I want an adventure.  I used to voluntarily live in my car to drive from ski resort to ski resort and live in the parking lot of my favorite mountain or in a tent.  I was ALWAYS on an adventure, but after getting pregnant 4 years ago, I haven't had an adventure since.  I just want one last adventure like we used to have before I get married, but the girls don't seem to care what I want.  They want to go to the family cabin we visit every weekend.  Not and adventure to me.  I'm trying to find something else in the Seattle area, but it's all stuff we could do any night of the week....  I'm getting pretty bummed out, and wondering how I ever got in charge of making this plan anyway.  They asked where I wanted to go and what weekend 3 months ago.  I told them.  I have been calm and patient with 5 bridesmaids who don't return phone calls, can't make time just to have lunch, and <strong>decided to move to Hawaii and miss all pre-wedding functions on a whim....</strong>  I'm about to whip out the bridezilla on these ladies!!
    Posted by clairemarie82[/QUOTE]

    This is my favorite part.... You honestly think that your BM moved on a whim? And then you have the nerve to complain how she missed the pre-wedding functions? PP was right - no need to whip it out, you are already a Bridezilla.

    Your bachelorette party is not the end all adventure of a lifetime.  I am a mother of two and still going on adventures; my life didn't stop when I had children. I've had even more fun sharing the things that I enjoy with my kids. 

    I thin you have set your expectations too high on what your Bparty was going to be, and expecting way too much of your BMs.  There is no rule that says they HAVE to do anything for you.  And maybe there is a reason they aren't returning your phone calls or making time for you....
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    SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's it sounds like you've already become a bridezilla. One of my BM's was out of town for the bridal shower and another one was in the hospital the night before the bachelorette and missed that. I didn't freak out and I completely understood, sometimes life happens. All that mattered was that they were there for the wedding and stood up front with me and my DH.

    You shouldn't be planning your own bachelorette party. This is supposed to be planned for you. A lot of brides don't even know the details of their bachelorette until it happens. The bridal party usually does a good job of planning since they're close with the bride and know what she would want to do. Destination bachelorette parties are expensive! Would I have loved a girls trip to Vegas or Miami? OF COURSE! But did I ask for it? Nooooo.. because I know how much of an expense it is just to be a part of a wedding, nevermind going away on a trip about a month before hand on top of everything else.

    Maybe your BM's can think of a way to "spice up" the usual outings that are close by. They can rent a party bus or limo.. or you can stay overnight at a nice hotel and get some spa treatments the next day. Remember, not everyone loves to ski, and people have their own lives going on where they can't just up and leave for a few days and/or just simply can't afford it on top of everything else going on with being a part of a wedding.
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    deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with all pp's.  You shouldn't be planning your own bachelorette and then stomping your foot when it's not going according to your expectations.  Your BM did not move to Hawaii in order to upset your pre-wedding plans.  She's living her life.  You get one day.
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If your BMs are moving to Hawaii to avoid your pre-wedding festivities, that should tell you something.
                       
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ba3ad428-01af-4419-8ace-2537b7aea47bPost:a7ec4ace-b14b-41f6-89fa-e350a2c60d14">Re: Bachelorette Party Vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]If your BMs are moving to Hawaii to avoid your pre-wedding festivities, that should tell you something.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    That was great!  Thanks.  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You're welcome. I tried to say that in your voice, Trix.
                       
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