Bridal shower vs. Couples shower

Ashleybose1121

My matron of honor and another of my close friends are throwing the Future hubby and I a couples shower. My Aunt wants to throw me a bridal shower. I dont feel its right to invite guests to both showers, who should be invited to each shower? should i just tell the ladies invited to the bridal shower that its not necessary  to get another gift for the couples shower? or not inviet them to the couples shower? but i dont want them to feel excluded or left out either

calliopeia2013

Ettiquette says that guests (except for moms and grandmothers and any other relatives at that degree of closeness, e.g. stepmom, aunt who raised you, etc.) should only be invited to one shower.  Either invite everyone to the couples shower and politely decline the bridal shower, or invite, say, friends and younger folks to the couples shower, and family/older relatives to the bridal shower.  (Or, if they're going to be in two different towns, invite local folks to each one, but it sounds like that isn't the case.)

Don't worry about people feeling excluded; people will understand.  It's just that a shower IS a gift-giving occasion, so if you're having two, it by definition means you're expecting guests to bring gifts to both.  That's just what a shower is- it's like a contradiction in terms to have a "no gifts please" shower.  Because of that, another solution would be to have one of them be a bridal luncheon or brunch, instead of a shower.  While some people might still bring gifts to these, it's not a gift-giving event by definition, so it doesn't look gift-grabby if people are invited to both a shower and a luncheon, whereas it looks very gift-grabby if people are invited to two showers.

Ashleybose1121

Wonderful! That's for the advice!

futuremrsbillyo

We are having a couples shower, bbq themed. I think its a great idea idea and allows uceveryone to be included in such a happy time!!!