To invite to the shower or not to invite

StacyJenniges

I am putting together the guest list for one of my showers.  I'm trying to decide if I should have an invitation sent to one of my BM's mom (BM's mom is invited to the wedding).  The reason I am not sure if I should invite her or not is because she already gave me a gift and said "I'm not sure if I would be invited to a shower or not and wanted to make sure I gave you a gift". 

I just don't want her to feel like she has to give me another gift.  But from what she said I kind of senced that she would want to be invited.  Had she not given me a gift I would have invited her. 

One thought I had was mention to my Bm that I invited her mom, but did not want her mom to think that she had to give me another gift.  I wouldn't ask her to say anything to her mom unless it was brought up. 

What do you think?

CharDrahos

If you were planning on inviting her in the first place, before you received a gift, then go for it. Just because you were already given a present doesn't mean she shouldn't be allowed to come and have fun with everyone. Bridal showers (at least to me) aren't about just getting gifts. It's a chance to get to know people or have fun with people you already know. She was probably hoping to be invited but maybe didn't want to feel intrusive by assuming, so she purchased a gift for you to at least let her know she is thinking of you. I doubt she would feel that she needed to get you another gift just to attend your shower if she was invited. It seems that the gift she gave you was her shower gift, whether she was invited or not. 

StacyJenniges

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_invite-shower-not-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c6331cf2-f992-4a5e-a05d-132e3b9b6709Post:b334d1b7-3076-4e4f-90ab-01dedf232c24">Re: To invite to the shower or not to invite</a>:
[QUOTE]If you were planning on inviting her in the first place, before you received a gift, then go for it. Just because you were already given a present doesn't mean she shouldn't be allowed to come and have fun with everyone. Bridal showers (at least to me) aren't about just getting gifts. It's a chance to get to know people or have fun with people you already know. She was probably hoping to be invited but maybe didn't want to feel intrusive by assuming, so she purchased a gift for you to at least let her know she is thinking of you. I doubt she would feel that she needed to get you another gift just to attend your shower if she was invited. It seems that the gift she gave you was her shower gift, whether she was invited or not. 
Posted by CharDrahos[/QUOTE]

Thanks, that was the route I wanted to go, just wanted some assurance that this was the right thing to do.

MairePoppy

Yes, you should put her on the guest list. Send her a thank you note for the shower gift and send it out before the shower hostess sends the  shower invitations.