Pre-wedding Parties

What If...

I know it is wrong to invite people to the shower if they are not invited to the wedding but what if Someone throws you a surprise shower and invites people that were not invited to the wedding? Are you supposed to then invite them to the wedding?


I was just thinking about this the other day and couldnt get it out of my head...

Re: What If...

  • edited December 2011
    Your wedding is way too far away to even worry about this right now, but I would say if it happens, it happens.  You are not responsible for who gets invited to a surprise party.
    imageDaisypath Wedding tickers
  • RailWayWifeRailWayWife member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh no I wasnt thinking for my wedding I was just wondering in general :)
  • edited December 2011
    This kind of happened to me and I still feel bad about it.

    My SIL generously through me a shower in her town for the women on my inlaws side of the family.

    It wasn't really a surprise shower, but she never consulted me about the guest list or anything and it was thrown together pretty last minute really close to the wedding (she and her entire family are SUPER disorganized).

    It hadn't even occurred to me that she would be inviting women who were not on our guest list. I just assumed it was going to be really, really small with local women from my hubby's family.

    Anyway... she did invite a bunch of my hubby's female cousins with whom he has zero relationship and whom we never invited to the wedding.

    None of them attended the shower but many sent gifts.

    We didn't send them last minute invitations to the wedding. Just wrote thank you notes for the gifts they gave us.

    In retrospect, I guess when my SIL mentioned she wanted to host a shower (actually, it was my then 10 year old niece who was putting the whole thing together. no joke.  It was her idea and she did everything including calling people to invite them - kind of why it never occurred to me she would have invited these random cousins), I could have said, "Thanks, but FYI the following family members are not invited to the wedding..."

    But that just never occurred to me.
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