Frustrated bride - bachelorette party

lauraandjosh040613

My MOH let me know 4 days ago that she was throwing a party for me this Thursday - dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. She then asked me if I could invite my bridesmaids. I asked them begrudgingly (I already had to invite people to my own bridal shower), and only 1 of the 3 I invited could go (the other 2 were the MOH and my future SIL, who helped some with the planning). Then, I found out I'm expected to pay for myself. Money is tight as it is, and after having to do all of the invitations for 2 separate events, it made me frustrated. 

I sent a text to my future SIL and MOH asking if we were doing dinner since I needed to "keep a bit of a tight fist on $ right now." I was told that the plan was to meet at the restaurant, people can order what they want, and each pays for themselves. I know it was passive aggressive a bit, but I texted back and said, "Ok. Money's a bit tight for me right now, so I might just get something to drink." My bridesmaids know I don't drink alcohol, so that equals a pop or iced tea.

Am I wrong to be frustrated over these things - inviting people myself and paying for myself - and also the incredibly late notice for my bridesmaids (my future SIL asked if we needed to reschedule - I don't want to make that decision)? Is there a better way to handle the situation? It seems my own parties are becoming additional responsibilities/duties for me, and I have enough on my plate right now as it is.

lauraandjosh040613

To add to this, my MOH wasn't even going to put together a bachelorette party until the future SIL asked her directly on a FB message that included all the BMs and me if she was planning one.

Blue_Bird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_frustrated-bride-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c9b89fe1-a2d6-4dae-882d-48fe20d3b6bdPost:560e5fef-f42b-419a-a571-4456f1a156d6">Frustrated bride - bachelorette party</a>:
[QUOTE]My MOH let me know 4 days ago that she was throwing a party for me this Thursday - dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. She then asked me if I could invite my bridesmaids. I asked them begrudgingly (I already had to invite people to my own bridal shower), and only 1 of the 3 I invited could go (the other 2 were the MOH and my future SIL, who helped some with the planning). Then, I found out I'm expected to pay for myself. Money is tight as it is, and after having to do all of the invitations for 2 separate events, it made me frustrated.  I sent a text to my future SIL and MOH asking if we were doing dinner since I needed to "keep a bit of a tight fist on $ right now." I was told that the plan was to meet at the restaurant, people can order what they want, and each pays for themselves. I know it was passive aggressive a bit, but I texted back and said, "Ok. Money's a bit tight for me right now, so I might just get something to drink." My bridesmaids know I don't drink alcohol, so that equals a pop or iced tea. Am I wrong to be frustrated over these things - inviting people myself and paying for myself - and also the incredibly late notice for my bridesmaids (my future SIL asked if we needed to reschedule - I don't want to make that decision)? Is there a better way to handle the situation? It seems my own parties are becoming additional responsibilities/duties for me, and I have enough on my plate right now as it is.
Posted by lauraandjosh040613[/QUOTE]

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. Your frustration is completely understandable. It sounds like your maid of honor is really just immature and has no clue what etiquette is. I would just tell her you've changed your mind and you are no longer interested.

MairePoppy

That was rude of your FSIL to ask your MOH if she was going to organize a BP (essentially) in front of you and the other BMs. Your FSIL Should have been more discrete. How uncomfortable for everyone, especially you. The MOH wasn't obligated to throw the party, but also shouldn't have agreed and then put it on you, the guest of honor, to do the inviting. You should let MOH and FSIL know that you aren't comfortable with the plans. 

lauraandjosh040613

Thanks to everyone for the advice! It wound up working out in a strange way. I started feeling sick Sunday night and was diagnosed with sinusitis on Tuesday. Since I'm sick and want to get better and not give it to anyone else, I canceled Thursday's outing. My FSIL has since organized a party for me. All I know is to come hungry with no questions asked. Not exactly what I had in mind, but it all worked out, lol!

lauraandjosh040613

Thanks guys - I appreciate it!