My FMIL and FSIL are planning to have a shower for me. The FSIL was planning it as a surprise and the FMIL slipped up about it so I found out. I told her that I felt like showers were not for second weddings, and her answer was "it is if I give you one." I really love her and appreciate her caring enough to want to do this, but what can I do to prevent this?
I am not a stick in the mud about the whole second wedding thing. I was married at 16 and stayed that way for 23 years. I have had people tell me I can't do a real dress or a real wedding the second time around. I don't care what they think about that. I am marrying the person I should have married to begin with, and I refuse to allow our union to be anything less than the previous ones were. He and I are on the same page with this. We are having a church wedding, formal dress, and reception. This is what we want.
My problem is, the shower is a gift giving affair. We are both in our 40's and are paying for our bridesmaids dresses, groomsmen's tuxes, etc. I don't want our wedding to put anyone else out. It is to celebrate our union, not to get gifts. We have all the things needed to comfortably run a household, anything that would not be outrageously expensive. He says if they want to do it, let them, it will hurt their feelings if I refuse. I don't want to offend his family, but a shower is a request of gifts and I just do not want to do that.
Any ideas?