Caterer's Husband Died

Jay+Marissa

We just found out today that our caterer's husband was killed in a car accident this past week--he was waiting to make a turn and someone rear-ended him and pushed him into oncoming traffic. On top of it all, her daughter's wedding was last weekend, and she is still on her honeymoon, maybe coming home early.

She is still doing the wedding, and still wants to meet with us this Monday--she just asked to move the appointment up to 11am so she can be ready for her husband's WAKE that evening.

Her assistant who called my mom and told her this says she still wants to meet and it is fine because it distracts her, but jeez...I don't want to go. How do I nail out final details of my wedding with a woman who just had a very recent horrific tragic loss and still hasn't even had a chance to grieve? She's definitely a strong woman, but I don't even know how to approach this--I feel horrible!

If everything goes off fine, she is getting a ridiculous amazing review

ewinkler1977

This is such a touchy situation.  Really probably one of the best things is to follow her suit. If she says she is still doing your wedding then I would still meet with her.  Alot of times when things like this happen, there are a lot of people who will walk on eggs shells around you and constantly have this look in their eye like you are going to fall apart and any moment.  I would honestly just treat her as you normally do.  I'm sure she has a great staff that will pull together and make your wedding wonderful.

That is such a horrible situation and just remember everyone grieves differently and maybe for her to keep working will help her through it all.

mandasue178

I agree. Just follow her lead. If she's comfortable meeting, then meet. If she calls Monday Morning and says she can't, meet another day instead. She may be one of those people who deals with tragedy by just plowing forward. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine. 

Jay+Marissa

She may be one of those people who deals with tragedy by just plowing forward

She does seem like the type. I just wish there was something we could do! I just hope she really is emotionally okay and isn't just desperate because I imagine as the sole provider she doesn't want to lose a big June wedding. I just feel like having to work a wedding is such a slap in the face to someone who suddenly lost their husband at a relatively young age.

llc2011

This is a horrible tragedy!  I agree with the pp, if she wants to go ahead, I would follow her lead. 

linzcw04

I agree. What a hard thing to have to go through! She sounds like a very strong woman - and it may be easier for her to be distracted by weddings at this point in the grieving process. Everybody does it differently...but I would just follow her lead. You will be able to tell from the meeting how things will progress from here.

Jay+Marissa

The meeting actually went very well. She looked very sad, but remarkably composed. We actually felt a lot less stressed after the meeting because I feel like she has things under control and the wedding will go fine.

She talked a little about her husband--he had Huntington's disease for the past 10 years and has been suffering for awhile. You can tell she is so said, but she was positive enough to say she was happy he wasn't suffering anymore and that he got to see her daughter's wedding and graduation. I hope I can be like that in the face of a horrible situation if one ever happens.

mandasue178

I'm glad it went well!!

Jeff and Deepthi

Glad it went well too!! It's really hard watching someone go through a disease like that. It's just gets worse with no end. I can see how she says that, but she's an amazing women for doing what she did with your wedding around the corner!! I'm sure she'll do an amazing job. Tell us how it goes.

donnamarie02

OMG that hurts my heart but I'm glad it all went well.

almoyo

Okay, so I have had extensive experience with Huntington's in my family and seriously, that guy got lucky dying the way he did. It leads to a horrible life with no quality whatsoever. I could go on and on, but anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if that is why she is doing so well. It's awful watching your loved ones deteriorate the way they do from that particular disease.