no registry

al1bye

My fiance and I are a young couple, but we live in a small apartment and have nice jobs. We have everythigng pretty much that we want already for our apartment or if we don't I know that it's something that is too expensive for my guests to buy for us for a wedding gift. And I also know that if I for example put on my registry that I want a specific $500 knife set from bed bath & beyand, they'll pick me up a $50 set at kmart instead... So we have just decided to forgo the whole registry deal altogether, but people are making such a big deal about this because we're not registering. Honestly, what we could use right now is money. After paying for this wedding we won't have any left over to afford a honeymoon or a down payment on our first house. My MOH says it's fine to mention that we are not registering but we would appreciate donations for toward our honeyfund. My fiance's parent's say absolutely not, that it's tacky (which i sort of agree.) And my fiance wants to register with our bank who provides a wedding saving account for people to make donations to and also provides registry cards to send to our guests. So what's the right call here?

sduncans09

Do you care if people don't get you anything?  Because.... some people consider it tacky to give cash - a friend had a wishbox or whatever, for cash, and she said several people didn't get her anything for that reason.  i would register for some things - really think about some things you will always need or really want but just haven't bought b/c it's too $$, too frivolous....

Leah&Christian09

If you don't register, some people will take the hint and give you cash. However, many people feel that cash isn't an appropriate gift, and they will just pick something out for you. It may be a nice piece of art, but it may also be an ugly piece of garbage. If you don't register, you'll probably get a lot of random gifts in addition to cash. If people are making a big deal about it, you can assume that they are the kind of people that won't give cash. Also, if you don't have a registry, you can't have a shower. Honeymoon registries, bank registries, downpayment registries and all that are just registries for cash. They are terribly tacky. Either register for physical gifts or don't register at all. You are not a charity and you don't need donations. They are just dressed up ways to ask for money. I would suggest that you go back to BB&B and look around for things in a more reasonable price range. Not everything there is a $500 knife. And while you have the basics, after living on my own for 10 years, I know that no one is ever fully stocked. Surely you can use some extra towels, sheets, matching glassware/silverware/dishes, upgraded pots & pans or some specialty appliances. (I got an ice cream maker. Best appliance ever.) My advice is to make a small registry with some back up things or things you'd like to replace in modest price ranges. Then have your mother/MOH/FMIL respond to questions about your registry with "They have a small registry at X, but they are really saving up for a honeymoon/down payment." People who are ok with giving money will take the hint and write you a check, and those that prefer to give a physical gift will have some guidance.