Shower Planning

Pumpkin_Princess

My mom called a couple of weeks ago because apparently she and my sister were trying to plan a surprise shower for me, but my sister fell through on getting my wedding guestlist. I was reluctant to accept the offer for a shower, but I agreed to make my mom happy. Now she's asking me about everything (What kind of cake, food, games, favors, etc.) and I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable with it. I don't have any BMs, but I'm wondering what happened to my sister in all of this. So are you ladies involved at all? I know you're not supposed to throw your own shower, but are you helping with anything? TIA!

jquirke9881

My sister asked me general questions while planning my shower --- she was interested in what my opinions were so I gave them to her.  I think it is ok to be involved just not to dictate or plan entirely.

jinxed8605

The only way I am involved with 1 of my 2 showers is the date. My mom and 99% of my family are on the other side of the country so I am flying to Oregon in March. I have no say in the one FMIL is hosting locally.I am sure they will all ask for a guest list.

I <3 Seabass

The only involvement I had with my shower was giving my MOH my friend's addresses. But, I don't think that there's anything wrong with letting your mom know what you like & dislike if she asks. Or you could just say, I'd be happy with anything you pick and leave it at that.

amy41710

My sister (who is also my MOH) is hosting my bridal shower, along with the other bridesmaids. I gave her a list of addresses, but would have no problem answering questions. At this point, I know how stressful it is to plan a party! I wouldn't mind helping her get an idea of the things I like, just to relieve some of her stress. At the same time, I would be perfectly content with being surprised, too. Whatever is easiest for the host!

bf43005

All my BM's are out of state so my FMIL is planning most of the shower stuff.  She pretty much bites off my head if I even mention the shower.  She said I'm not allowed to have anything to do with it until the day of.  So maybe you should look at this as an opportunity to have a say in what is done.  I'm sure my FMIL will throw a very nice party, just not sure it will be what I would have planned.  But it makes her happy!

bingham101

I think it depends on the person throwing it. Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She wants to throw it for you buy shes not quite sure how, and she wants to make you love it so she runs every detail by you? That’s what my mom does. Finally I told her mom I love you, what ever you do will be fine with me… because I feel like I am planning this thing. I gave her what food I wanted, what kind of cake and told her the kind or games I think would be fun. Shes never really been to a formal bridal shower so she is really new at this. We will see how it goes mines on Saturday!

4myjays

My bridal party is throwing me my shower and they asked me a couple of things regarding th eplanning of it, so I am kinda involved but not. Any questions that they may have a do not mind them running it across me for my opinion at all, I judt don't want to be in too much details of the shower. Same with my work, I try to stay out of the girls way with planning my shower which is tomorrow. If they ask me a question then I answer it, but other than that i let them do the planning because it is something they wanted to to do for me and if there is any ?? they need answered I will. It is ok to me to be a little involved in when, where and such but not to overly involved like, games, drinks, etc.

madalineball

My roommate is my MOH and is throwing me a shower at our house.  I was happy to help make the invitations (especially since i am a graphic designer) and will be there the day of to help decorate as well as fix the food.I'm sure she appreciates the help and I can't just sit in my room while she decorates, that seems just mean!

vicymar

I don't see anything wrong with it, if they were to ask me I would be happy to help since I know they are doing it to please me.

fnl007

My MOH just got engaged and I'm her MOH. She is getting married in May 2010 and I'm getting married in July 2010. We are planning each others showers and keep talking about plans and what we like and throwing ideas at each other but ultimately she's hosting my bridal shower and I'm hosting hers. We are only talking about what we like and don't like and what we'd love to have and wouldn't. We will be giving each other names and addresses since our guest lists for the wedding are different. I think your mom is just trying to make sure you have a beautiful wedding shower and is trying to make you happy with the things she chooses for your shower. Technically you are simply giving her ideas of what you like. I can tell my MOH that FI & I love the idea of a coed wedding shower but whether she hosts one for us is her choice. I wouldn't worry if I were you.

Pumpkin_Princess

Thanks ladies! I'm trying to be helpful, but like pp said, I'm beginning to feel like I'm planning it. I keep telling her to do whatever she wants, but she insists, so I give in.