tiny destination, will people still throw a shower or buy us gifts?

hillary_marie88

Due to financial restraints, family issues on the groom's side, and the fact that my mother died when I was young (thus I have no one to help plan a wedding), my fiance and I are planning to have a destination wedding.  We have considered it being just us to, kind of combine wedding and honeymoon, or possibly invite my dad and his mom, my sister, and grandparents...my question is, with me not having a hometown, everyone invited wedding, will people still throw us a shower?  Should we register, or should we not expect gifts?  I can't seem to find a situation like mine anywhere

MyNameIsNot

It is very rude to invite anyone to a shower that isn't invited to the wedding, so you won't have a shower.

Typically, people not invited to the wedding don't send a gift.  There is no reason to register.  

Since most couples pay for their own weddings now, so you'd be in good company if you decided you wanted to do a traditional wedding.  But if you don't want to save up and spend the money, doing the DW is fine too.    

laurenclaire1386

I'm doing a DW also, although our guestlist is a little larger than yours seems to be. We invited our wedding party, obviously, immediate family, aunts, uncles and first cousins. I have no idea whether or not my MOH plans to throw me a shower, but we do plan to register. But with a guestlist as small as yours, I don't think it's a good idea to register.

Galaxy8227

You might still get gifts even if you have a wedding with just a few people.  Some family members and friends might get you some things, but I dont' think you need to register for it since it probably won't be much. 

amagwire

Don't expect a shower.  Maybe a friend or family member would want to do something for you, but don't register.  It's rude.  If people want to throw you a party, that's great - but I don't think it's right to register and get shower gifts when no one will be invited to your wedding.   

noodle_oo

I voted yes because I think your immediate family and close friends may still get you a small gift to celebrate.  However, NO shower and I woudln't register.  That would seem gift grabby to me, having a tiny destination wedding but expecting people to get you gifts off a registry.

duckie1905

You may get gifts but one of the things you give up when you have a small DW is a shower.

banana468

People may still buy  you presents but no showers should be thrown unless they're small and just include the wedding guests.

jinxed8605

Most people will not send gifts if they are not invited to the wedding. Sure you can have a shower if someone throws it for you, but all invited to the shower (including HOST!) MUST MUST MUST be invited to the wedding.

BrideofBigSur

We're having about 40 total guests and my MIL is throwing me a shower at the destination the day before the actual wedding, and a lot of people have asked me to register. So yeah, at least a few people will want to get you something - and you want them to know what to get you.