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Registering and Gifts

Asking for money or gift cards instead of gifts...

Is there a polite way to ask guests to give us either gift cards or money instead of gifts? We're already registered at one place and planning on going to one more store, but the problem is that we're moving from Michigan to Washington right after the wedding and there's just no feasible way to move a bunch of wedding gifts. We're already having to leave behind a lot of stuff because it's just too costly to move it all, so the last thing we need is a pile of gifts. We aren't really going to have the time to return things, either. 

Is there any sort of poem or something I could slide in with the invitation? My fiance is in the Navy and my soon to be MIL suggested writing something about us sailing away to Seattle as a way to ask for guests to not get us gifts, lol. We're also not going on a honeymoon, so any suggestions related to that also won't work.

Thanks!


Re: Asking for money or gift cards instead of gifts...

  • In Response to Asking for money or gift cards instead of gifts...:
    Is there a polite way to ask guests to give us either gift cards or money instead of gifts? We're already registered at one place and planning on going to one more store, but the problem is that we're moving from Michigan to Washington right after the wedding and there's just no feasible way to move a bunch of wedding gifts. We're already having to leave behind a lot of stuff because it's just too costly to move it all, so the last thing we need is a pile of gifts. We aren't really going to have the time to return things, either.  Is there any sort of poem or something I could slide in with the invitation? My fiance is in the Navy and my soon to be MIL suggested writing something about us sailing away to Seattle as a way to ask for guests to not get us gifts, lol. We're also not going on a honeymoon, so any suggestions related to that also won't work. Thanks!
    Posted by EmilyNicole98
    No, there is no polite way to ask guests to give you gift cards or money, and even more importantly, there shouldn't be anything at all in your invitations about presents.  Poems in wedding invitations asking for money is about the rudest thing you can do.  The way to get fewer physical gifts is to register for only a small number of items.  People will get the hint if they're the type who give cash gifts.
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    doeydo
  • In one word, no. And please don't do a tacky gimme gimme! poem. There's nothing more rude than a couple trying to be cute while going through their guest's pockets.
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    doeydo
  • No.  and there is no way to make something like this cute and acceptable.

    Do what peole have done for decades if they prefer money: make a small registry.  People (especially those who have already been married) know that cash is always a welcome gift.
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    doeydomelbelleup
  • You could have it spread through word of mouth that because you are moving so close after the wedding, that you would prefer cash.  Also, with a small registry, guests will put it together that cash is preferred.
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  • I would just have one small registry.  Not sure how it is around where you live, but around here most people give cash at the wedding anyway.  I've only given a physical gift once in the 20 or so weddings I've been to and that was because the bride gave us a physical gift for our wedding.  We only got 2 actual gifts at our wedding.  
  • I would do a small registry, spread by word of mouth, and maybe you could add something to a wedding website about moving (BUT NOT ABOUT GIFTS) so at least everyone would know you're moving and maybe have the option of taking that into consideration.
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  • No there is not a polite way to request cash or gift cards. Please do not put anything about gifts or registry info in your invitations. I would gag if I received an invitation with a silly poem in it asking for my money.  Do a small registry for people who want to do boxed gift and others will get hint that cash would be appreciated. 
    doeydo
  • No mention of gifts or registries should ever go in your invitation or any other communication for you.  You don't bring up other people giving you gifts, wedding or not.

    If you don't want physical gifts, just don't register.  People who are comfortable giving money will give money.  Others will either choose something for you on their own or forgo the gift.  If you don't want the gift they give you, politely thank them and donate or sell the item.  
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    doeydomelbelleup
  • tacky, tacky, tacky. 

    doeydo
  • Me and my fiancé plan on asking for money and gift cards as well. Go to www.americanwedding.com and look up monetary instead of gifts. There are quite a few very cute little poems that can be used to say it nicely. Hope this helps!
  • In Response to Re: Asking for money or gift cards instead of gifts...:
    Me and my fiancé plan on asking for money and gift cards as well. Go to www.americanwedding.com and look up monetary instead of gifts. There are quite a few very cute little poems that can be used to say it nicely. Hope this helps!
    Posted by ellenicole365
    Did you miss all the posts above that say it is rude to ask people for money?
    doeydo
  • In Response to Re: Asking for money or gift cards instead of gifts...:
    Me and my fiancé plan on asking for money and gift cards as well. Go to www.americanwedding.com and look up monetary instead of gifts. There are quite a few very cute little poems that can be used to say it nicely. Hope this helps!
    Posted by ellenicole365
    This is awful advice! Don't listen to this you will regret it.
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  • Hello!

    I just wanted to throw my two cents in since everybody else is really negative!

    I am a wedding invitation designer and I get people asking for this type of thing ALL the time! What we usually do is include a "wishing well" card that says something along these lines

    "If you were thinking of giving us a gift to help us on our way,
    A gift of money in our wishing well would really make our day
    However, if you prefer to buy a gift
    Feel free to surprise us in your own way"

    We also have a lot of couples say "A gift of money towards our house, honeymoon, etc would really make our day..."

    OR

    "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all, but if you would like to bless us even more we will have a wishing well at the reception" 

    Most people either know what a wishing well is or have the means to figure out what it is.
  • Hello!

    I just wanted to throw my two cents in since everybody else is really negative!

    I am a wedding invitation designer and I get people asking for this type of thing ALL the time! What we usually do is include a "wishing well" card that says something along these lines

    "If you were thinking of giving us a gift to help us on our way,
    A gift of money in our wishing well would really make our day
    However, if you prefer to buy a gift
    Feel free to surprise us in your own way"

    We also have a lot of couples say "A gift of money towards our house, honeymoon, etc would really make our day..."

    OR

    "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all, but if you would like to bless us even more we will have a wishing well at the reception" 

    Most people either know what a wishing well is or have the means to figure out what it is.

    If I was invited to a wedding with something like the bolded on the invitation, I would bring some pennies.  That's what people throw in wishing wells, after all.   ;)

    Just because people mention gifts in their invites (never okay) or make up stupid gag-worthy poems about asking for money (never okay) in their invites doesn't make it right.  They are all being rude and tacky.
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  • @burakhardt9, this thread is almost a year old. And your advice sucks.
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    doeydoBlue_Bird
  • photokittyphotokitty
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers
    member
    edited November 2013
    Hello!

    I just wanted to throw my two cents in since everybody else is really negative!

    I am a wedding invitation designer and I get people asking for this type of thing ALL the time! What we usually do is include a "wishing well" card that says something along these lines

    "If you were thinking of giving us a gift to help us on our way,
    A gift of money in our wishing well would really make our day
    However, if you prefer to buy a gift
    Feel free to surprise us in your own way"

    We also have a lot of couples say "A gift of money towards our house, honeymoon, etc would really make our day..."

    OR

    "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all, but if you would like to bless us even more we will have a wishing well at the reception" 

    Most people either know what a wishing well is or have the means to figure out what it is.
    Don't listen to this advice. People who are making money off our the wedding industry  - like this poster - are notorious for pushing rude ideas because it helps them make money. If it is incredibly rude to mention gifts on the invitation in any way. I am disappointed someone who designs invitations for a living doesn't know this. I guess making the sale is more important than being polite in her eyes.

    Most people know that cash is an appropriate and appreciated gift or have the means to figure it out that it is (or don't want to give it)...you don't need to point it out to them!
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