enclosure card ettiquette?

martin5280

My fiance doesn't want a wedding website, which I'm totally okay with, so we put the registry information on the "helpful information" enclosure card that will be sent with the invitation. Is this okay?

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_enclosure-card-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8df83d5d-42b1-4255-bdd3-3fc52b21e75ePost:63757d13-99a6-4d62-b6a1-9e11522ce610">enclosure card ettiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance doesn't want a wedding website, which I'm totally okay with, so we put the registry information on the "helpful information" enclosure card that will be sent with the invitation. Is this okay?
Posted by martin5280[/QUOTE]

No. You don't mention gifts anywhere on your inivitations. If people really want to know they will ask you.

CA2MT4EveR

Nope. It's still the invitation. 

I'm sorry- but why don't people get this?!

Hellokatie0517

Do we need a sticky about this?? Maybe it's already in a sticky and it's just been so long since I've read them.  I'm not trying to be an a-hole, but it seems like this comes up every other day,

balasj

Agreed with PPs.  Its inappropriate to include gift info anywhere within the invitation mailing.  Your parents and wedding party can spread the info via word of mouth and those guests who search online should have no trouble tracking you down if you're registered at a mainstream store.

banana468

Sorry, that card should be thrown away.

jagore08

If your FI doesn't want to do a wedding website then word of mouth is your only option to spread the word.

Galaxy8227

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_enclosure-card-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:8df83d5d-42b1-4255-bdd3-3fc52b21e75ePost:747f4517-17e8-4fae-ad4a-2749e2421d2f">Re: enclosure card ettiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]If your FI doesn't want to do a wedding website then word of mouth is your only option to spread the word.
Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

This

MNVegas

No it is not okay. You NEVER mention anything about gifts in your wedding invitations, not acceptable.

mysticl

I really don't pay attention to the invites other than to get the info I need and maybe I think "pretty". 

But when I see gift information on them I do think or even say how rude that is (not to the sender but to a friend or family member). 

SaraAndrew2010

Just curious, why doesn't your FI want a wedding website?  Does he feel that it's too much work to set up? 

I've found that having a wedding website has been really useful for us and our guests.

kissmegently

You know, there is no problem with putting them in the invitation.  I find it rude that the information is not included in the invitation because I should not have to ask around or search for them on the internet.  It makes more stress for the guests to have to do extra work to find out where the couple is registered at.  And I have talked to my family members and they say that it is extremely helpful for that to be included.  Because whether it is on a website, or by word of mouth, you're still sounding like you want gifts.  The only difference is where you are putting that information.  Otherwise, you shouldn't register at all and just have people give you what they feel is right, not what you WANT.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_enclosure-card-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:8df83d5d-42b1-4255-bdd3-3fc52b21e75ePost:23691dbf-85df-40af-aaec-9fa22345d995">Re: enclosure card ettiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, there is no problem with putting them in the invitation.  I find it rude that the information is not included in the invitation because I should not have to ask around or search for them on the internet.  It makes more stress for the guests to have to do extra work to find out where the couple is registered at.  And I have talked to my family members and they say that it is extremely helpful for that to be included.  Because whether it is on a website, or by word of mouth, you're still sounding like you want gifts.  The only difference is where you are putting that information.  Otherwise, you shouldn't register at all and just have people give you what they feel is right, not what you WANT.
Posted by kissmegently[/QUOTE]

This is completely incorrect.  And the above statement may be your opinion but it's not appropriate etiquette.

Etiquette holds that you NEVER broadcast your wedding registry information yourself because it implies that you're expecting gifts.  This is different than just creating a registry and letting people find it on their own if they so desire.

 And as a guest it isn't that difficult to figure out where the couple is registered.  If you give me a name I can find out in no more than 20 seconds where the person has a registry.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Nope, not okay.

I don't have a wedding website and somehow people have still been able to find my registry. I'm getting married in 6 weeks and not having a shower, and we've already had 6 gifts purchased off our registry.

kbates85

I don't know, I did NOT include registry information on our invites but now it's little frustrating because people are constantly asking "So, where are you registered again?"  Not to mention, my family, and bridal party, isn't very well versed in wedding etiquette. They don't understand why they have to spread the word. The concept is a little lost on them along with the groomsmen and my fiancé.

Also, let's be honest, obviously, if you've registered for gifts, you are expecting to get gifts. I know that traditional etiquette says you can't include registry info on the invite but, other then people that are in the middle of planning a wedding, who really thinks about that stuff? I know I didn't. So, I’m torn. In the end, I went with tradition but my MOH is throwing a bridal shower and the registry information will be on those invitations. ~Kim

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]I don't know, I did NOT include registry information on our invites but now it's little frustrating because people are constantly asking "So, where are you registered again?"  Not to mention, my family, and bridal party, isn't very well versed in wedding etiquette. They don't understand why they have to spread the word. The concept is a little lost on them along with the groomsmen and my fiancé. Also, let's be honest, obviously, if you've registered for gifts, you are expecting to get gifts. I know that traditional etiquette says you can't include registry info on the invite but, other then people that are in the middle of planning a wedding, who really thinks about that stuff? I know I didn't. So, I’m torn. In the end, I went with tradition <strong>but my MOH is throwing a bridal shower and the registry information will be on those invitations.</strong> ~Kim
Posted by kbates85[/QUOTE]
That's perfectly fine! Hope your shower is great :^)

banana468

kbates, it's fine to have the registry info in the shower invitations.

FWIW though, MANY people notice when registry information is in the wedding invitation.  When my cousin's wedding invitation showed up and the registry info was in there, my mother and other family members talked about the rudeness.

MNVegas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_enclosure-card-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:8df83d5d-42b1-4255-bdd3-3fc52b21e75ePost:3f094f99-e946-4f19-a09e-a3a20f82c97b">Re: enclosure card ettiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]kbates, it's fine to have the registry info in the shower invitations. FWIW though, MANY people notice when registry information is in the wedding invitation.  When my cousin's wedding invitation showed up and the registry info was in there, my mother and other family members talked about the rudeness.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

Totall agree! I received a wedding invitation recently and when I saw the card for gift registry, I just cringed.  We all felt so bad for the brides mother who was very embarassed that her daughter had done this.

megandjay

NO.

Just register at a major store in your area (ie. Macys or Target) and people will your stuff there. And you don't have to do a whole wedding website, just add your registries on The Knot and Wedding Channel- computer savvy people will find you there.

Registry information is often included with Bridal shower invites (this is because you are not throwing the shower for yourself- or hopefully not).