Is this "allowed"?

gonnabemrsh

So you know the story, we're getting married far from where we live and it'll be tough to transport actual gifts, yadda yadda yadda.

Now I'm not stupid enough to even consider mentioning gifts on the invites or anywhere else, hehe.

However - firstly, I can't decide if I should register somewhere or not. We don't really *need* anything, although I could definitely come up with some things I'd *like* (like matching towel sets, for example - we have towels, but nothing matches) but I feel like it'd be weird anyway.

Obviously, we would prefer cash. And I realize there's no way to specifically mention that to all invited or anything, and I'm not having a shower or anything, no gift-grubbing intended, I couldn't care less if people don't get us a gift, but I know my family, and I know that several of them will want to give us *something*. Anyway, my question is: Is it okay, if my mom gets a call and is asked "Where are they registered?" for her to explain that we'd prefer cash (instead of providing information on a registry)? Or is it absolutely 100% NEVER okay to mention the dirty "c" word?

Please note I'm not saying to have her call them and tell them I want cash, or anything else like that. But IF THEY CALL HER and ask about it, should she be honest and tell them? Or should I register just so she can tell them a place when they call and avoid the word cash altogether?

Thanks

SweetCharade

I'd do a small registry for stuff like those matching towels, then if your mom (or anyone else) gets that call they can say "oh she has a small registry at X but they are also saving for Y"

gonnabemrsh

"Also saving for a house"...I like that. Thank you very much for your opinions!

jennylove810

Also, don't forget that your gift shipping destination can be a different place from where your wedding is taking place.  All our gifts are being shipped to my mom's house, mainly because I don't want to be tempted to peek at the presents coming in.  But if people buy gifts off your registry, many of them will just have the presents sent to your house.  I know very few people who would show up to a DW with a huge present the couple would have to lug home.

gonnabemrsh

Excellent point jenny, for some reason I never considered that. Depending on what we register for that may be just what I do! (I too would be tempted to peek, hehe).

cidinny

Perhaps you would consider doing a honeymoon registry.  After much debate, my fiance and I registered for ours.   I know lots of ppl think its tacky, but we don't need any household items and are not the "china pattern" type of couple.  Anyway, word got out and EVERYONE has made it a point to say how much they LOVE the idea of contributing to something as special as our first vacation as husband and wife.  We intend on taking pictures of ourselves doing the activity that someone has purchased for us (ex:  lunch at a particular beach, or room service at our hotel, or entrance into museums) and include the pics in our thank you notes.  

MandG2010

You can also register for gift cards at several stores.

jlhellman

There's this awesome website called thehoneymoon.com, where you can register for all the things you want to do for your honeymoon, and your guests can pay for that instead. You can put anything you want on it, so you might even put "a brick for our new house", or something like that, too. Then, about a week before your wedding, and one week after, the company sends you all of the cash your guests paid. It's a nice way to still be registered, and not get gifts exactly, but you also don't have to ask for the cash.

melliott09

Most people attending your wedding should already know you don't reside close to the venue, so hopefully they won't bring bigger items, in which you would need to lug back and forth.

I don't see anything wrong with your mother mentioning it if they call her for her opinion!