Registering for engagement party?

zeitsev

Our engagement party is going to be in June and I have been asking my friends if they will be able to attend.  I'm in grad school and so many people are going home in May.  When I ask, I get asked where we're registered but the wedding isn't until June 2011.  Should we do a small registry now or not?  I wasn't planning on it but every time I tell people we weren't planning on registering for the party people keep telling me we should.

Thank you so much!  I feel so confused.

hrtucker

My understanding is that it doesn't hurt to have a registry before things like engagement parties and bridal showers, in case your guests want to get you a gift, which it seems they do!

So yes, I would start a small registry now.

hh581842

well, you're not registering for the party you're registering for your wedding.  etiquette says that gifts at the engagement party are not necessary, though some guests still do bring them.  For my friend's recent engagement party, I got her a small gift from the registry.  It's never too early to register, and if people are asking, then obviously they want to know and registering now will make gift-getting easier for them. You're gonna register eventually, you might as well do it now and help out those guests that want to get you a gift for the engagement party, but don't know what you want.

Regardless, there's no rule saying you can't register now.  So yeah, I would.  At least get your registry started and you can get more serious about it in a few months. 

Brie2010

This is a regional thing, I believe.  In my area engagement parties are pretty uncommon, so registering for one would be really weird.

Also, PP, there is such a thing as registering too early--we registered 9 months before the wedding and have had nothing but headaches with things being discontinued, out of stock, etc.  I'd suggest registering no more than 6 months in advance.

amagwire

I wouldn't register for an engagement party. To me, e-parties are like house warming parties - it's a get together, but no gift necessary. If people want to gift you something they can do bottles of wine, gift cards, etc.  I think you're too far out from your wedding to register - things might be discontinued by June 2011.

hh581842

E parties are pretty common in my area.  good point about the items being discontinued.  DIdn't even think of that.  Again, e parties aren't gift giving occasions, but some guests are going to bring gifts.  I just think that people are asking for it, so you should start the registry and get a few items on there so that the guests that are going to buy from the registry have some options.  You can always finish up the registry later as your wedding gets closer. 

Jane_Birkin

yes, you should definitely register for a few things--candlesticks, photo frames, some crystal or glassware. don't put too much time into it but pick some nice things that will be good for your future home. now is not the time to worry about your sheets and towels or your dish set. i'm a fellow NYC-er and most of us would never think to show up to an engagement party without a nice picture frame or other kind of gift. 

SuMmErKuTiE

If guests are asking then that means you should register. But as pp mentioned, you're not registering for the engagement party, you're registering for the wedding, but if guests choose to purchase a gift for you off your registry to bring to your e-party that's their perogative. We began registering before our e-party for the same reason, people were asking us where we were registered. We never expected gifts, but pretty much everyone who came to our engagement party brought either a gift or a bottle of wine or champagne. It was a nice surprise, just don't forget to send thank you notes after the party! HTH! :0)

LisaTyler1984

I did a very small registry- playing around, because my wedding was still 2 years away and I had friends find it and give me some things off of it for my E-party. I don't think it's necessary, besides don't you want most people to bring cash instead? This way you can start your wedding fund with something significant.
I think it's rude to attend any party without a gift.

MyNameIsNot

Engagement parties are not gift giving events, and those that do bring gifts tend to bring something like a bottle of wine or a picture frame.  

If I hear that a couple registered before their engagement party, a year ahead of the wedding, it seems gift grabby.  I wouldn't do it, and answer people with "oh, you don't need to bring us a gift, just come celebrate!"

zeitsev

Thank you so much for all the responses!  After reading through them and talking with my family and previously wedded friends I think we'll start a registry and just put small things on it for the time being.  As it was previously posted, it is kind of strange to go to a party without at least a small gift in NYC.  We're not going to put down the registry information on the invitation or anything but if asked, we'll let people know. 

The end of the semester is in sight and the work load is piling up and this was just another stressor for me!  Thanks for helping me find some clarity!

aprovencher21

I'd definitely register now....while things may be discontinued or out of stock if you keep an eye on your registries it's not a big deal (if you're planning on registering for formal china I'd call the manufacturer to check if it will be discontinued).  We got engaged Nov 2009 and our wedding is Jan 2011.  We had an engagement party this past Jan and prior to it I was asked at least twice a week about where we were registered.  I received at least 25 gifts off my registries at the engagement party (actually quite a few place settings of my china).  I wasn't expecting people to do all that and was very very grateful for everyone being so very generous.  In my area (NJ) it is rare to go to a party empty handed. 

hsunij

I'm thinking a small on would be good.

My fiance and I ALWAYS send our friends engagement gift even though they are not expected because its still an exciting time. So it would be nice for some people who want to get you something, to have some guidence. but I would keep the items on the less expensive price range.