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My Grandparents asked me if I want a gift or cash...

...and as dumb as this sounds, I don't know what to say!  I am the first grandaughter to get married and my grandmother asked if FI and I would prefer cash or a gift.  They gave all my other cousins to marry (all boys) just a check for the same ammount (and I would expect no more....not that I expect anything, but you know what I mean).   I should also say I am extreemly close with them.

My mom said "they won't care either way, but what would you prefer?  Would you two just want a check to save or spend as you'd like or do you want a physical item they purchased for you that you can always have and say 'this is what my Grandma and Papa got me for our wedding?'"  When she puts it like that it really makes me want a physical item (they would pick something special, not like, a toaster or something), but a check is so much more practical.  What do you ladies think?  Am I being dumb?
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Re: My Grandparents asked me if I want a gift or cash...

  • I don't think you're being dumb, but you're definitely overthinking it!

    You have a registry, so if they buy you a gift, it's going to be something you wanted. If they give you cash instead, you can buy something you want, or save it to buy something in the future.

    Either way, you're getting something out of this arrangement :)

    Tell them to choose, that you don't expect a gift and that anything they decide to give you is up to them.
  • I don't think you're dumb at all.  As nice as cash is, I know that I feel like I have to be responsible for it.  Any cash that FI and I receive will go toward the communal "pot" for things like savings, law school loans, etc.  Even though it's more practical it's nearly as fun or sentimental to me as whatever is inside a box with a bow on it. Just go with your gut on this.
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  • My grandmother asked me the same thing!  I told her to look over the items on my registry and then do whatever she wanted, if she sees something that catches her eye that she would like to give me that will be great, or else if she gives me money I'll make good use out of it.
    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • In Response to Re: My Grandparents asked me if I want a gift or cash...:
    My grandmother asked me the same thing!  I told her to look over the items on my registry and then do whatever she wanted, if she sees something that catches her eye that she would like to give me that will be great, or else if she gives me money I'll make good use out of it.
    Posted by meganb1977
    I like this advice.
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  • My grandma wanted to get us something to remember her by.  I don't really think about material things that way--I have so many wonderful memories of her, that it felt silly to me--but I understand the sentiment.  She ended up getting us some of our fine china, and then she helped us get some silver pieces from replacements.com to supplement the set we have passed down from DH's grandma.  If you want to have something that will always make you think of her, maybe you can suggest something like a picture frame, vase, or china/crystal/silver that is a more timeless gift?

  • My mom asked me if I wanted new luggage or really nice lingerie.I said "I'll take the luggage, I won't have the lingerie on long enough to make it worth while."  The look on my mom's face was priceless.  ha ha ha.  When she finally could utter a sound again all she could do was laugh and tell me I didn't have to put it QUITE like that...  
  • In Response to Re: My Grandparents asked me if I want a gift or cash...:
    My mom asked me if I wanted new luggage or really nice lingerie.I said "I'll take the luggage, I won't have the lingerie on long enough to make it worth while."  The look on my mom's face was priceless.  ha ha ha.  When she finally could utter a sound again all she could do was laugh and tell me I didn't have to put it QUITE like that...  
    Posted by skippylouwho
    That is pretty hilarious!
  • You can ask for either but even if you get the cash you can use it for something you would like and would be special and still remember it is from them.  When my grandfather passed away every grandchild got some money from his estate.  I bought a painting with mine since my grandfather was a painter.  While he didn't buy the painting for me I still look at it as if he did since I used the money from him for it and it is still special to me.
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