Registry and Gift Forum

Kitchen Stuff: FI & Money

My FI has a certificate in culinary arts and is currently working on a food science degree so he LOVES to cook. And because of his experience and love, he wants to register for the good cooking ware (lasts longer, cooks better).

Insert problem: My mother!

My mom is not a big believer is spending money for the best (if the second best works and is cheaper, get it!). Although we haven't started registering when we go to a mall we walk through Macy's, William & Sonoma, Sur la Table, etc and just look and get ideas. Basically, I'm terrified that my mom is going to guilt trip me for us registering for the high quality kitchenware (even though we're going to have lower price points for bathroom and bedroom things so the price range is large).

Question: is it ok to register for the good quality kitchenware and how can I get my mom to either not guilt trip me or how to block her out?

Re: Kitchen Stuff: FI & Money

  • You register for what you and your FI want and don't let your mother guilt trip you into registering for something you don't want.  That being said, you need to make sure that you have registered for items at a variety of price points.  If all of your registry items are $100+, then many of your guests will feel put off, especially if they are unable to afford those items.
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  • Tell mommy dearest she can register for what she wants if she gets married again or she can ask for that for her birthday or other holidays. This is about what YOU TWO want as a couple to start your life together. My mother and grandmother would tell me (oh wait they did) "Go dig into the yard sale items we have tons of cups and stuff in there I'm sure you can find some"..no thanks. Right now we are using his cookware which blows, no lids so I use foil to simmer or steam things...I left my favorite farberware for my mother to use when I moved as a courtesy so YES I registered for another set of cookware lol. It's not her choice, it's yours.
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  • I think as long as there is a good balance of price points it's fine.  I get annoyed with a registry with lots of $100+ items and only a handful of lesser priced ones.  It's your wedding so you should register for what you want.  What's the point of asking for lesser quality items that you may just upgrade yourselves in a couple of years.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_kitchen-stuff-fi-money?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ef089967-ed20-4ef8-8a51-49c91a0efa97Post:93e25fd4-f973-445f-ad6d-8c9ea8a03d34">Re: Kitchen Stuff: FI & Money</a>:
    [QUOTE]You register for what you and your FI want and don't let your mother guilt trip you into registering for something you don't want.  That being said, you need to make sure that you have registered for items at a variety of price points.  If all of your registry items are $100+, then many of your guests will feel put off, especially if they are unable to afford those items.
    Posted by shortee426[/QUOTE]

    exactly.
  • Register for what you and FI want.  Mom will always have her opinions, but she doesn't have to use or live with this stuff.  You do!

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  • Register for what you and your FI want. It's not your mom's registry. Kitchenware is probably the first thing I would invest extra money in because it's used so much.
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  • Tell your mom she doesn't have to buy anything from the registry.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Here's an idea.

    Macy's has a great system where you hook your credit card and you get points for everything that you and your guests buy from the registry. So register for the good stuff there and then tell her you plan to use your wedding money or gift cards to buy it yourself. And you can tell her you get points for what you buy too so it just makes sense to put it on the registry.

    Tricky. ;-)

  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Tell your mother that good kitchenware is an investment.  Good pots and pans can last forever, whereas the low end stuff often needs replacement after a few years.  I think most wedding guests would like to give gifts that the couple can use for the duration of their marriage.
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