How do I get my fiance motivated?

johngobble

So, I am going to be moving into my fiance's house after we get married and I have no clue what we are going to need versus what he already has that I can live with. I have tried getting him into the registering mood, but he will have none of it because he thinks he doesn't need anything and plus he wants a way to ask people for money. How do I get the future hubby excited about picking out new stuff for our life together?

krizzo17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_fiance-motivated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:eff2b4e8-3db6-4ca3-8d09-6deda587d151Post:c32b74ba-c750-4468-ab61-2a6cf2949349">Re: How do I get my fiance motivated?</a>:
[QUOTE]Meet in the middle and do a small registry, maybe for some dishes and extra flatware and towels.  It's typical for guys to think they don't need anything.  <strong>My fiance customarily asks for world peace when I ask him what he wants for Christmas.</strong>  But unless you are bringing a lot of stuff of your own, with you in the house, everything will be used twice as much as it is now and it won't hurt to have a few extras of the items I mentioned.  There may be a few items he doesn't have that you would like (i.e. if he doesn't drink coffee and doesn't own a coffeemaker, but you will need one).  Even if he thinks guests on his side will just give cash gifts, that may not be something people in your family typically do, and your fiance may not realize that.  Maybe you can get some backing from a third party (like a mutual friend) that some guests will want to give you an actual item and it's a good idea to offer them some suggestions.  Your fiance may be more open to it if he realizes it's not just you making an issue out of it.  Let him know that you agree with him about saving towards certain goals but unfortunately there isn't a polite way to ask for cash gifts -- I wish there was! -- and you would like to create a small registry.  Let him know you're willing to put forth all the time and effort and he can be involved as much or as little as he would like, but you want to have his support. I think he'll come around and let you do what you want if you keep it small and reasonable and he can see that you aren't being frivolous.  It will all work out :-)
Posted by meganb1977[/QUOTE]

At least he's generous! Mine always responds with "you" to the question "what do you want for..."

Like many other pps, my fiance just wanted to buy everything ourselves until we walked into Macys, at which point he got a little scan-happy and suddenly had opinions on things I didn't even think he knew existed.

johngobble

Update: My FI just added his first item to the registry How did I get him to start looking, I started a registry at his favorite place to shop Amazon.com. He added a freezer for the basement. I was so happy Thanks ladies.

shipsinthenight

Men live like bachelors when they are bachelors. They don't usally have things like bake ware, except to cook a frozen pizza on. Measuring cups? What are those? You don't need to measure things when you just grill or nuke. Fi was very adament that when we moved in together (before our engagement) that is was OUR place, vrs his place that I was movng into. He was offered his old roommate's apartment when we were getting ready to move, but aside from not being able to afford it, it would have been his first, and not ours. Glad to hear you got him started on a registry, and as PPs said, make sure you register for the things you want he doesn't have. This is the time to upgrade. And you WILL get money...people always get money at weddings. (If we ahd a basement, I'me sure Fi would register for a freezer too)

goodine11

My fiancewas not motivated to do registries either. When I took him he was worrisome asking, why do we need this and that. I finally found out that he cared nothing about registeries. Really, I does not like to recieve gifts he rather get what he wants himself. Once, I found that out, it was a piece of cake. I could put on the list everything I wanted and everything, I know he would want in the future. I had a ball.