Who to invite to second wedding

petra91185

We both have been married before and thn we both were left by are spouse. We found eachother and want to start a future together. But who do we invite this time around? Is it everyone again or do you make it more about just close family and friends? I have no idea.

Sue-n-Kevin

Petra, it's up to you. This will be my first wedding, his 3rd. It all depends on how long it's been since the end of your last marriages. I'm all about celebrating with the people who love and support you, and will be happy you found the right person this time. We are also both older, and have fewer close friends, more family.

You'll figure it out. Big or small wedding, you'll be happy when the day is over and you start your new life.

deepcovejackie

I agree with PP.  I think you have absolutely every expectation of inviting whomever you want.  Definitely have those around you who are supportive of your relationship and are truly happy for the both of you.  There are no rules in this case.  Best of luck and many congrats to you both!

handfast4me

There used to be "rules" regarding this sort of thing, but not any more.  Invite who you want.  In my case, I had a medium sized guest list the first time around, and this was DH's first wedding.  We decided to go with no guests and no attendants, so we could have a private, intimate ceremony.  We were able to say things to one another and practice rituals that we would not have if we'd had guests.  It was much more meaningful to me than my first wedding.  So, all to say that it's up to you. 

catcronley

I think you have a lot more wiggle room when you are a little older (and likely are paying the tab yourself). The one thing I struggled with, very briefly, was my ex's family. We get along well and I still attend an occasional family event with our son; however, I decided that none of them will be invited. It just didn't feel right.
CC

jeannigirl

This is both our second wedding.One thing I know is that you both have to decide on how many guests you want to invite. We def had different ideas of how we want the wedding so sometimes it may take a little comprising on both sides to make it pleasant for both you and your FI.

My FI when I gave him the guest list he deleted the majority of people he knew and I have to honor his thinking on that. I myself had to really look at who I did put on the guest list and realized that more than I wanted to admit really was not that involved in our lifes has a couple.

Whew actually that will save us on the food (hahaha)

ladysloan

I agree with all the comments posted. 

This is my 2nd wedding and his 3rd. I feel so much more relaxed planning this wedding than I was the first time around.  I also feel much more empowered to do what WE want, not necessarily what our parents want for us.  Our kids are very important to us so we are having a very family oriented wedding and reception.

Over the past few years as we went through our divorces (seperately) we quickly found out who our true friends are - these are the people we want to share our wedding.  The only challenge we are working through is not inviting our professional contacts, some are understanding others are not happy that we are only have family and close friends - people that we picked up the phone to announce our engagement.

It's really up to you; my advise is to invite those that are important to you and your future husband and not to worry about others.  Congratulations!!

2dBride

My first wedding was mostly extended family (and mostly his family, at that).  My second was mostly friends, because I just haven't seen many of my aunts/uncles/cousins for so many years that I wouldn't recognize them if I ran into them in the street.  I think you often have more freedom with a second wedding, because you have fewer people whom you "have to" invite.  So invite the ones you would like to have there, and don't invite the ones you wouldn't.

LesPaul

Invite whoever you want to celebrate with you.  There are no rules.  I invited 14 members of my family who happen to be ex-H's family too, including his parents.  We are still close, and they were happy to attend.  Whatever works for you and your FI is fine.

icefog34

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_invite-second-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:0a917a05-75c6-4ea9-a880-2f734d875280Post:be6cc5a8-e447-403e-b13c-8a105ee99e20">Re: Who to invite to second wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you have a lot more wiggle room when you are a little older (and likely are paying the tab yourself). The one thing I struggled with, very briefly, was my ex's family. We get along well and I still attend an occasional family event with our son; however, I decided that none of them will be invited. It just didn't feel right. CC
Posted by catcronley[/QUOTE]

I'm in the same boat as you.  Still get along well with my ex's family.  I know his mom wiill probably be offended, but I'm not inviting them either.  I think what my FI and I will do is just have some family and that's about it.  Small weddings are good too.