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Second Weddings

Is this okay?

We are having a rather large wedding and paying for it ourselves, of course.  We have both been married before, and had weddings before.  My parents are not on board with me getting married, though it really wouldn't matter.  This is been a pattern of not measuring up.  Anyway..

We are not doing a wedding party, just a ringbearer (my son) and perhaps a flower girl.  I am not having  my dad give me away, since he did that already.  My parents won't discuss the wedding.  My dad won't go get fitted for a tux, and I bought my mom a dress, since she hated shopping, and she says she wants to pick her own dress.  That's fine, except she will wait until the night before...

So in light of all this, is it okay not to have the traditional grandparents/parents processional, and just have them be seated just like the other guests?  Then it won't matter what they wear or if they even show up...

Re: Is this okay?

  • Of course its ok. 

    But let me ask you - why?  If its really about what they are wearing, my advice is to let it go.  I would have had my Dad with me in his Tshirt and Dickies if I could have. (He's been dead 20+ years)  If it is because of your relationship with them, will this help the relationship?  Or will it just make it worse?  A few minutes satisfaction feeling, "so there!" isn't going to be worth it.  Are your Fi's parents alive?  Are you going to do the same with them? 

    If your parents don't dress appropriately, people will think less of them, not you.  If they don't come to the rehearsal (if you are having one) they will probably walk just fine.  They've been doing it for a while.  No one really pays attention to them anyway. 

    If you really don't want any fancy processional, and are just going to walk in behind the children, that's really fine, too.  There's no rule saying you have to have the processional.  There are lots of variations on getting the bride & groom to the altar.  ~Donna
  • Of course it is okay not to have family processionals.  We did not.

  • I don't think she's as concerned about what they wear as she is that they are just plain not supportive of the wedding or marriage.  In this case, I think it's fine to leave parents and grandparents out of the processional.  But this is something you can wait on and decide the week of the wedding if you want.  Hopefully they will come around.
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