Bridal shower etiquette

mma3

I am hoping that you guys can help me here.  I have read information saying that it is perfectly ok to have a bridal shower.  I was married young (for all of a couple months) and had the traditional wedding with a shower when I lived in a different state.  The second time was at a JOP and no one was there (should have told me something).  FI and I decided we wanted an more of a traditional wedding (if you can call a black dress traditional LOL ).  My MOH/sister told me last night that she doesn't think I should have another one because we live together and have been married before.  What do you guys think or what are you doing?

handfast4me

Ok, first, I'm going to TRY not to be offended by the "jop and no one was there (should have told me something)" because that's what my DH did for our beach wedding.  We loved it and it was amazing.  Much better than my formal, mid-sized wedding the first time around.   As you already know, you can't throw yourself a shower.  So, if someone offers to throw you one, go for it.  If not, you'll just have to do without.

andicharles0706

I agree with Handfast.  If somone offers to throw you one, by all means have one.  But it's VERY tacky to throw one for yourself.  One friend offered to host a shower for me, but I honestly couldn't think of more than 3 or 4 people who would come, so I declined. 

mma3

Handfast-Please don't be offended because that had nothing to do with a JOP.  What I probably should have said was that I knew in my heart that it was the wrong thing to do and probably subcontiously (sp?) went that way to avoid family and friends telling me it was a mistake.  It in NO way was meant in the context that there is anything wrong with going to the JOP.  I am really sorry if it came out like that. Thank you all for the input on the bridal shower issue.  I agree it is tacky to host your own.  I wasn't really thinking of a "shower" but maybe like a recipe exchange party or cooking tip party (Lord knows I need more help there LOL)something like that. 

AmyLou75

No one threw me a shower, so I hosted a girls night out dinner and we had a blast. I personally know how my feelings were hurt about that night (I ended up not only paying for most the food, but when they all ordered pitchers of margaritas, that ended up on my tab too, even though we had all discussed it was a PAY YOUR OWN WAY)...so if you want to get your gals together, do it. Just have a dinner, or something fun!

LesPaul

I was very fortunate to have my friends at work throw me a surprise shower my last day at work before the wedding.  It was pot luck over the lunch hour, but very heart-felt and sincere in their good wishes.  Enjoyed it very much, especially since I didn't expect anything.

LaBelleFemme

Hi! I just stumbled on this board. We are having a shower, my FI's mother wanted to have one for us. Honestly, my Mom was a bit hesitant, but then jumped on board when FMIL brought it up. FI has never been married. I thought that it should be more casual, so we are having a casual co-ed bar-b-que shower. Or I would have suggested a lingerie shower. =-D Good luck!