Second Weddings

Third wedding - but I've never been a "Bride" Can I wear White? And other ??'s

This is the third marriage for both of us.  I have been married in Army Dress Greens, and blue jeans.  I have never worn the white dress and walked down the aisle.  My fiance wants me to finally have my dream wedding.
I am 41, and want to know if it would be appropriate to wear white???

Next question:
We would like to have a candle light wedding - obviously in the evening -and follow it up with a cocktail reception with hors d'oeuvres and a dessert bar rather than a dinner.  The issus comes in hosting a cocktail party with guests under 21... I can't say no kids, as my sons who will be part of the wedding party are 19 and 12.  Any ideas???  

Next?:
Has anyone ever had their brother as thier "man of honor"?

Next ?: 
My mother can not stand my father (divorced when I was 13!!) I want my dad to walk me down the aisle (he never has).  How do I grant him this honor without enraging my mother??

Re: Third wedding - but I've never been a "Bride" Can I wear White? And other ??'s

  • Congratulations and welcome to the boards.  Fun questions and, thankfully, not as intense as some of the other discussions right now.  But I digress …

    I am 41, and want to know if it would be appropriate to wear white???  What would make it inappropriate for you to wear white?  Your age?  The season of the year?  The fact that you’ve been married twice before?  Eh, I don’t buy that.  I’ve been married twice and neither time did I wear white.  It’s not my thing.  If you want to wear a white dress, do it.

    The issus comes in hosting a cocktail party with guests under 21... I can't say no kids, as my sons who will be part of the wedding party are 19 and 12. Any ideas???   Invite whomever you wish, regardless of age.  It is your responsibility as host to not serve anyone who is under the legal drinking age (just as it is in your home).  This becomes TONS easier when you hire a bartender and have him/her card anyone who is underage.  Let the bartender be the heavy.  However … if a teenager wants to sneak a drink, he or she will.  Flasks fit nicely into interior jacket pockets and purses. Just sayin’ …

    Has anyone ever had their brother as thier "man of honor"?  My son (age 18) was my best man at my wedding in July.  When I married the first time (20 years ago), my best friend at the time, a man, was my best man.  I’m sure there is someone on this board who has had her brother as her honor attendant – if brother, rather than “man,” is the important part.

    How do I grant him this honor without enraging my mother??  C’mon now, you know you cannot choose when your mother will put on a show.  If you want your father to escort you down the aisle, ask him and be prepared to respond calmly to your mother’s fireworks.  The more serenity you maintain in the face of her silliness, the more likely it is that her display will fizzle out quickly.  Let her have her temper tantrum.  Then, move on.

    It looks like you'll have lots of wonderful, fun (even your kookie mom) elements to work through as you plan. Enjoy every minute of the planning and have a great wedding celebration!
  • Wear white, and a veil, if you'd like. I'm doing both (second wedding, and I'm 35). No problems with a man of honor, either (my brother will be mine, and my fiance's ex-girlfriend/best friend will be his best maid). As far as children, you can certainly have an adults only wedding and still include your children.

    As far as your mom goes, she should just be able to be adult enough to understand that he is also your parent and, as such, you want to include him. Talk to her about it and warn her that it is happening. If you're close to him and you want him there, you should have him there and walking you down the aisle.
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