Second Weddings

Annulment

Hi,

Maybe this is a better board to post about an annulment -- my fiance thought he had one, but paperwork was not processed so 6 1/2 months before our planned church wedding, we had to start over and reschedule. it is now 5 months out so we are definitely postponing...i need to share the info with guests but really dont want to have to explain to everyone.

it's been a very tough couple of months and i just want to be happy and having fun planning my wedding. it's just not fun right now.

thanks!

Re: Annulment

  • handfast4mehandfast4me
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011

    First, have you sent out invitations yet?  If not, there's no reason to tell anyone--when they don't get an invitiation, they'll figure out that there's been a postponement or cancellation. 

    For those that you HAVE to tell now (MOH, BM, etc.) you may want to share that "oh, we had a glitch in the paperwork for Fi" and leave it at that.   For other who ask, or for others you must tell, I wouldn't offer a reason, I would just say "due to unforseen circumstances, we've had to postpone."    If they are rude enough to ask why, just say "oh, we're still planning on marrying, we just need to postpone due to unforseen circumstances."   If you repeat it enough they'll stop, and realize that it's not their business.   Say it sweetly, but firmly. 

    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • edited December 2011
    Handfast hit it on the money.  No one needs the details.  While you are at it, perfect your icy stare of death.  Every second wedding finds some need for it.  ~Donna
  • jhmw706jhmw706
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    Thanks! I have told some people, a few at a time. My mother is out of control, which sucks - she said it is embarassing her and says a lot of mean things. so it sucks, and has to get better!
  • edited December 2011
    Moms can be difficult (especially having to deal with one like that twice for two weddings). I found the fewer details you give, the better.
     
    I would let my Mom know when a decision was made, i.e. there ceremony is here at this time. She would then add her comment. I thank her for her input, and carry on as planned. It takes a little practice, but by the time the wedding comes, you'll be a pro. I even had to pull out the "too bad you can't attend the X event, you will be missed card." And, she eventually came around.
  • edited December 2011
    I completely understand how you feel.  I had a similar situation for my first wedding, except we were told 5 days before the wedding that the annullment was denied.  I was in tears and considered just cancelling (which should have been the correct option), but instead we had an outdoor ceremony with a Justice of the Peace.  The site was down the street from the church, so our groomsmen directed everyone.

    I am getting married for the second time in february 2011.  We are meeting with the priest tomorrow.  Hopefully things will work out this time (with the annullment).

    As far as your mom is considered, I think that you need to sit down with her and explain that she is making a tough situation tougher for you and that at this time in your life, you need her support more than ever.  Sometimes leading with your heart, especially in a situation where the heart plays the lead, is the best practice.

    Good Luck and happy planning!!!
    Waited a lifetime to get my heaven on earth
  • edited December 2011
    Hang in there.  We just found out last night my fiance needs an annullment.  We thought since his first marriage wasn't in the Catholic Chruch, he didn't need one but we were wrong.  We are still getting married but looking for another chruch/ceremony site.  It is a bummer!
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  • BubbalubBubbalub
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Wow, that's awful and I'm so sorry. :( I was so worried about possibly having to get an annulment from my first marriage that we are getting married outside of the Church and then getting our marriage blessed by a priest afterwards. We still plan on talking to a priest at the Church beforehand to see what needs to be done, though. FI's mom talked to her own priest (in a different town) and he told her since my first marriage wasn't in the Church that it wasn't officially recognized by them anyway, so no annulment needed. But then I read stories like yours, angiems97, and I start worrying again.
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