Invitation wording - Maiden or Married last name?

charleen528

This will be my 2nd wedding and my FI's first. I have kept my married last name and my maiden name as my middle name. He and I dated 26 years ago when I was in HS and he in college. We are planning and paying for our own wedding so the invitation will not have any parents' names on it.  He would like me to have only my maiden name on the invitation (which is how he knew me and also to not have my past husband's last name on it).  I am torn because I understand what he wants but all of my friends currently know me by my married name.  I will be taking his last name when we are married.

handfast4me

I truly do not understand some men's hang ups with names.  You need to use the name everyone knows you as; he needs to get over it. 

I never changed my name for my first marriage, of about 17 years, nor this one.  The reasons are many, including my dad had no brothers and no sons, and I wanted to pass the name on; I earned my degree and had a history (performance and publishing) with my birth name, and both my x and my current husband have very difficult, long, last names.  Mine's easy.  If anyone refers to me as Mrs. HIslast name, I don't care, and many people actually call him Mr. Mylastname, and he doesn't care either.  We both laugh when it happens.  Even after your marriage, if you choose to change your last name, some people will still refer to you as the previous name.  He should get used to that. 

ETA: spelling errors

Avion22

He needs to get over it.  Your legal name is your legal name (for now), so that should be the one that goes on the invitations.   It's not like you're keeping your ex-husbands name after you get re-married.

I would use First Maiden Ex's-Last for you and First Middle Last for him.  

fireytiger

I used my married last name for the invitations. I admit, I had debated using my maiden name and married name, but that was out of my own annoyance at still having that married name, and not changing back when I had the chance. In the end, it really didn't matter, everyone knew me with the married name, and after the wedding my name changed anyway. I would say, it's your name, do what makes YOU feel most comfortable, and your FI should be understanding of that.

right1thistime

Since our legal name is first, maiden, xH's, I would use that.    That is a compromise where can have the name he knew you as, and your friends will know who's wedding they are invited to. 

Unrelated note:  Handfast ::::::GO PATS!!

handfast4me

yes!!!! Goooo Pats!!!!!!

bethmerchant

I legally changes my name to maiden-former married after my divorce because of my daughter. I am using my maiden name on the invitations and programs, but the return address labels on the invites and RSVP envelpes will be addressed using my maiden-former married name. I'll be so glad to get rid of this name!

charleen528

Thanks for all of the advice.  I think I might just go with first names since everyone who's being invited already know we're getting married.  I'll use married name for return address labels.

LuckyHeather

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_invitation-wording-maiden-married-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:429a9e21-52da-4aa2-aa23-dcd1163babc6Post:2af6451f-c421-43ee-b36a-b4fc4905e8b0">Re: Invitation wording - Maiden or Married last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all of the advice.  I think I might just go with first names since everyone who's being invited already know we're getting married.  I'll use married name for return address labels.
Posted by charleen528[/QUOTE]

I love this idea.  First names, and no one gets upset.

swalsh76

I personally think you should do whatever your fi wants.  It's your ex married name.  Why on Earth would you want to use that anyways?  I'd use your maiden name.