Second Weddings

i feel hurt :( (venting)

Ok don’t want to sound like a brat “OH NO ONE LOVES ME” but I kind of feel that way. I have just been surprising it recently we started receiving a lot more of the RSVPs and a lot of my family is not coming. My family is very small and we started with only 2 tables for my family out of 8 (ok I didn’t start the table chart but we had enough to fill two tables)

Well now my uncles don’t want to come and my cousins are opting out. I have been to all of their weddings and they won’t even talk to me about it. his whole family is so happy that I just make him happy and my own family could care less about me. Also the ones responding no did not attend my first wedding.

 I hate to be a woe is me type of person but I just feel really hurt and last night I was crying when josh came home and I don’t think he understood. And I don’t know how to make him understand that I feel cheated.  Should I just get over it? (this just kind of hit me in the past half hour and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack, I don’t know why I never had one before and I am active duty army)

Re: i feel hurt :( (venting)

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry that your family isn't wanting to celebrate your new life with you.  Is there a chance that they just don't like weddings?  Are you asking them to travel?

    I'm sorry that your feelings are hurt.   It's great though that your FI's family is happy to celebrate with you!
  • BrooklclarkBrooklclark member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    thanks...

    i am tring to be positive. we are from the chciago area (at the moment we are in MO)  and we are having our wedding in a town right out of chciago which is closer to where they live. i thikn in the end i need to just let it go and move on, it doesnt help the way i feel, but if thye dont want to be there then i dont want them there.
  • topcatiomtopcatiom member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    you can't chose your family and i guess some families feel one way and others react differently, it is really upsetting when its your own that acts in a way that upsets you but i am sure that there will be people who care about yoou who will show up and support you 100% but its totally ok to be sad about it, i would be too but its not a reflection on you.

  • edited December 2011
    I know its frustrating and hurtful, but you really need to let it go.  I had family members who ignored my request for their address, knowing full well that I was asking in order to invite them to my wedding.  I racked my brain trying to figure out what the heck I ever did to them... but in the end, its not worth my time.  You may not have all the people that you invited, but you will be surrounded by the people that love you and your FI, and thats what REALLY matters.  I'd rather have 10 people at our wedding who truly care, than 100 who are there just "because".    Its normal to go through all of these feelings, just try to let it run its course. 
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Some families are, unfortunately, just like that.  My own parents didn't even show up for my sister's wedding in Mexico.  My brother and I ended up going, and fending off all the questions from the groom's family as to whether my parents had something against the groom.  (Let's see, what is the Spanish for, "No, our parents are just a**holes"?

    Just be happy that you are creating a new family that will be better.
  • prusgirlprusgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry.  ((((hugs)))

    You are NOT wrong in how you feel.  But, plan your wedding and make it the best celebration with those who loved you enough to be present on your big day!
  • edited December 2011
    Good luck and try to move past it. Yes..easier said , right. ? I am so sorry this is happening and can be SO hard. Hang in there and just enjoy your day. remember that if these people aren't coming, it is their loss.
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are not wrong to feel the way you do.  I'm sure it hurts to feel your family doesn't care about your wedding.  Here's my perspective (both my fiance and I have to deal with this from a couple of family members) -- I will focus on those who show up and let those who choose not to just enjoy the day elsewhere.  Just try to let it go ... that doesn't mean it won't hurt, it just means you'll focus your energy elsewhere.

    Something similar is happening to us -- one of my aunts has an ongoing beef with one of her brothers, so she'll probably not show up.  My poor fiance -- one of his sisters has been pissed off at another sister for a decade, so will likely miss our wedding b/c she doesn't want to see the one she is mad at.  OMG!!!!  Is this reality or is it third grade?? 

    I pray we are all granted the peace to know that, in the end, this stuff is just background noise. We're getting married -- with or without the knuckleheads in attendance.  :)
  • edited December 2011
    .  I'd rather have 10 people at our wedding who truly care, than 100 who are there just "because".   Posted by arv266[/QUOTE]

    BEST LINE EVER!  ~Donna
  • BrooklclarkBrooklclark member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
     Once again thank you so much for your encouragement and thoughts they really meant a lot.. (I am at work right now and almost had tears in my eyes reading how wonderful you all are that kind of funny and sad at the same time I am I the army in uniform haha, just glad no one was here.) Yeah it’s a hard time but lass night after I gave myself a migraine I just decided that enough is enough they don’t want to be part of my life that is too easy I don’t even live in that same state as these people. Time to cut sling load and move on with my wedding plans it will much better with people who want to be there.. thanks ladies Very Respectfully
  • edited December 2011
    Yesterday, a friend of my mine posted this on his facebook ---

    I no longer have time for those in my life, who do not have time for me.... 

    I'm glad to know that you are getting through this!
  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_feel-hurt-venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:50cf8572-fcc3-49e5-9ba4-0d2f227b45a9Post:dd975a92-d0cb-4bbe-9661-e6379a89445b">Re: i feel hurt :( (venting)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yesterday, a friend of my mine posted this on his facebook --- I no longer have time for those in my life, who do not have time for me....  I'm glad to know that you are getting through this!
    Posted by arv266[/QUOTE]

    Sad, but true statement. I'm starting to think that an adult right of passage is coming to that conclusion with both family and friends.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_feel-hurt-venting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:50cf8572-fcc3-49e5-9ba4-0d2f227b45a9Post:eae7a417-b56a-44ce-bfa8-5d3eb2fd73f9">Re: i feel hurt :( (venting)</a>:
    [QUOTE] (Let's see, what is the Spanish for, "No, our parents are just a**holes"?
    Posted by 2dBride[/QUOTE]

    "Nada mas que mis padres son pendejos".

    YWIA. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" />
    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
  • edited December 2011
    .  I'd rather have 10 people at our wedding who truly care, than 100 who are there just "because".   Posted by arv266[/QUOTE

    I love this! Im sure it will come into play for my wedding too!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards