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Just starting and needing advice

scoop69scoop69
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in Second Weddings
Hey, all...I am ust starting on this whole process (my FI just rpoposed last weekend), and I am in truth feeling a little overwhelmed and looking for advice.

Just for some history...he and I are both in our 40s, and we have 3 daughters (9, 13, 15) between us. We actually have a lot of history, as he was my first BF in HS, and we had planned to marry right after graduation. Long story short, that didn't work out, but we reconnected on Facebook last summer.

We are planning on marrying next summer, and I am trying to figure out a starting point to wrap my head around this whole process. I don't know if we want to do the whole fancy thing (we are getting married in a Catholic church) or if we want to do something simple. I'm not sure where to go with the reception, the cake, the flowers, the favors...I am totally at a loss right now. LOL. One of the things causing some of this is that he has not had the traditional wedding before, and he is a very old-fashioned kind of guy. I am flexible.

So, that's a lot of confusion I know Embarassed Suggestions on a starting point???
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Re: Just starting and needing advice

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    melissamc2melissamc2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd start by having the two of you sit down and discuss what is important to both of you, as a couple, for your wedding.

    Does he WANT the whole thing this time around?  If so, do YOU?  If you both do, then I say start with a date, a church, a reception venue, and then work your way out from there.  Have a budget in place, figure out what elements are the most important to each of you, and start pricing. 

    Also, if you havent already - take a look at your local board to get ideas on vendors.  There are SO MANY options for weddings now, that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it.  It's so easy to get/do exactly what you want!

    If you look a few posts down, you'll see where several of us have posted our gowns, shoes, and things of that nature, including "how" we're doing things.  This board runs everything from very simple vow exchanges to elaborate productions.

    Good luck, congratulations, and welcome to the board!
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome Scoop69.

    I agree with Mellisamc2. Find out what's important to both of you FIRST, especially the size of wedding you want, and who is paying. Once you have that, you can look for venues in your area that fit your needs.

    Way down the board, maybe 1-2 pages back, there's a thread on annulments. If you want to get married in a Catholic Church, you might need that. We aren't having a Catholic church ceremony, so we don't.

    Good luck & come back & share your ideas or ask questions. Everyone here is really nice, and always willing to help.
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    MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Welcome and congratulations!!! Scoop 69!!

    PP have it right, figure our what you both want, and set a budget and a date and work from there.  

    Also it wouldn't hurt to read some of the previous posts about annulments since you want to get married in a Catholic Church.  Also we have some excellent posts about dresses, what the DIY'ers are doing and such.

    Keep us posted about you plans!! 
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    pamila51510pamila51510
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree decide what you want together and what your budget is. We worked on everything togethe and it was amazing! I loved it so much more this time around I say go with your heart I think you might be suprised you both probibly want a very similar experience. I am so excited for you!! What an exciting time. Let us know what you decide.

    Welcome this group of ladies is awesom and realistic and will give you some amazing advice.
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    right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Scoop - good advice above.  Life is a lot more complicated when we are at this age, and with children.  Obviously you need to decide what your budget will be before you start the conversation, and one way to do that is to go to websites of weddings you have been to recently, or places where you might like to have a wedding event or vendors you might like to use. (this is where your local board is a great resource.) The websites should have some price guidelines that you can use to get a sense of how much the food, venue, and musicians might be. 

    After you've done that, my advice would be to carve out some time when the two of you will be relaxed and uninterrupted for a decent amount of time.  Grab a notebook, laptop or pad of paper.  Talk about what type of event you each want, do some brainstorming about places, styles, look & feels.  Jot is all down.  As you talk about how it would be to get married at Joe's bar & grill, you will evolve a sense of what similarities and what differences you have.    I think that you will find that the wedding you both want will evolve, and you will have shared a wonderful experience.  ~Donna
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    Knottie1446053082Knottie1446053082 newb
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Congratulations, and welcome.  everyone has already given you good advice so I will just say Hi.

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