My mother is driving me nuts!

cheriseg

My future husband and I were both high school sweethearts and reunited. He had been divorced for over 15 years but mine was more recent and more shocking to my family. All my family loved my ex who I was married to for almost 16 years. Anyhow in planning our wedding I am battling with another family member who changed his wedding to a week away from ours. Now family has to chose as the weddings are across the country from another. When I speak to my mother about this or any other wedding issue she implies that it is my second wedding and I shouldn't expect much. It is really getting to me considering my sister though she was much younger had two lavish weddings. And her second was just as special as the first. Am I being too sensitive?

kris051812

I am going through a similar thing, but a not quite as bad.  There's things you can control and things you can't - so you can't change the other wedding or your Mom.  Just focus on your wedding and enjoy it.  Fewer guests will save you some money as well - look on the bright side and don't let them bring you down.

right1thistime

Some of this is in how you view it.  Are you really battling another family member?  Seriously?  It stinks that the wedding dates are close (date-wise) & far apart geographically. Family will have to choose.  And yes, if his wedding is a first wedding, some may use that as the reason they choose his. 

Is there anyone in the have to choose group who will break your heart if they are not at your wedding?  If so, can you help them with travel?  If not, can you do a web hookup so they can see you get married? 

The only person who can answer the question about your sister is your mother. So you'll only get an answer by asking her.  I don't think you are too sensitive, I just think that you are letting other people have too much control over how you feel.  ~Donna

handfast4me

Yeah, what she ^ said.  (right1).   :-)

Lisa50

I read about these comments a lot and am sorry you have to hear it.  And, although I did not encounter it from anyone whose opinon mattered to me (someone on my wedding month board was quite the *b* about such stuff), I can imagine it's very disheartening.  But, you know what they say about opinions, right?  Just like you-know-what, everyone has one.

It would be great if you could have support from your mother, but that might not be in the cards.  As well, a TON of people really, sincerely believe that second weddings are not as special, or worthy, as firsts.  There is no changing those peoples' minds.

Focus on your plans, your wedding.  There will always be another event planned for the same date and time as an event you rank higher.  That's just life.  Be happy and enjoy the friends and family who make your celebration their priority!