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destination wedding and our kids..... need advice

rachele239rachele239
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in Second Weddings
hi all :) we live in florida and have 3 children combined, 5, 8, and 10. we are going to elope to lake tahoe next year for our wedding. we are not inviting anyone. we can't decide if we take the children or not! we'd love for them to be involved, yet that is 3 more plane tickets (we are planning first class) and having to ask his mother to watch all of our kids while we honeymoon there. i am quite sure she won't mind. but honestly, i just really want to truly elope and not worry about anyone/thing. is that totally wrong? will we regret not having our kids there? ugh, need help! thank you! :)
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Re: destination wedding and our kids..... need advice

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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Go to Tahoe.....go for me dammit!  That was our original plan but it didn't work out.  It's gorgeous there and yes, the kids would probably love it, but I have to say selfishly - don't bring 'em!
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    handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I'm in the same boat with pp.  I think this needs to be some alone time for the two of you.  Yes, the kids are important, but the marriage is between you and your fi, the kids, although part of the family are not part of the marriage. 

    DH and I went to Key West for our wedding, just the two of us.  I have a grown daughter (who is now married and a mom), two sisters and lots of other folks who would have been there if we wanted them to be, but they understood that this was a private time for the two of us.  And frankly, we put things in our ceremony that we would not have had there been an audience.  It was very intimate and romantic. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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    nana9nana9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Go for it.....alone! We seriously considered this option as well. We have 6 kids beyween the 2 of us. Spend the time alone with your new hubby, then come home and celebrate with your kids. Espically since you have someone willing to watch them while you are away!
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    rachele239rachele239
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all SOO much!! I was hoping I wasn't just being selfish. I just really want to enjoy this amazing moment and make some memories that is all about us and our new beginning. i think what we may do is come home and have a get together for family/friends and have the children do something special.

    you all helped so much! i can't thank you enough!

    marrin713- our family friends have a home right on the lake, so we are going to have the ceremony behind the house and stay there for a week. you just can't beat that!! :)


    handfast4me- i agree with you 100%. i would love for them to be there but i want to concentrate on us, not our surroundings.

    nana9- our family and friends here are willing to take the kids while we are gone...when else will we have a week of bliss to run away? LOL! :)
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Okay now I am totally jealous!  Wink

    What a wonderful wedding & honeymoon!
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    rachele239rachele239
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i am really looking forward to it. although.... they also have a home in maui they offered to us. looking at both they are SO beautiful. i have no clue what we are going to do yet. what a big problem i have huh! LOL
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    BeachBride310BeachBride310
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think where you are not having ANYONE else go it should just be you and your FI. If you were having immediate family there, then I would say bring the kids. But this is time that should just be you. You will all have the rest of your life together. Maybe when you get home you have have a small "becoming a family" ceremony to include the kids in something if they feel left out. Good Luck!

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    JenJune3JenJune3
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We also have 3 kids combined.... 1 1/2, 3 and 4 1/2, we are going to St Thomas for our wedding and not taking the kids with us. We don't have much time together without kids, so I think this is important for our relationship! We are having a reception though when we get back that the kids are going to attend!
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    AdelphiTNAdelphiTN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    i vote that you leave them home. There are other ways to include them and to give them a rite of passage into this new phase.

    - take engagement pix and include them in several, put your new family photo in a nice frame in a special spot in the house.
    - make yourself a sort of advent calendar to count down to the day. make sure the calendar continues on while you are gone.
    - have your family/sitter call you at a designated time after the ceremony and all the kids yell "CONGRATULATIONS" or something in the phone. blow horns. something loud and crazy. If i were keeping them, heck, we'd have our own wedding cake at home!
    - do something special with them when you return to celebrate. get a Zero Anniversary cake or something. it's the start of a new era.

    wow way too many of my ideas include cake. ;-)

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