Second Weddings

Is there anything you are missing the 2nd time around?

Being my second wedding, I'm getting a lot of comments from family members about the fact that I've put a lot more effort into my second wedding then my first. One of the things I am missing that isn't happening this time is a bridal shower... is there anything you wish you were doing/having that isn't traditional for a second marriage?
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Re: Is there anything you are missing the 2nd time around?

  • edited December 2011
    I actually did not have a bridal shower the first time, so I am hoping I can have one this time.  Other than that I don't feel like I am missing anything, I am actually getting the wedding I wanted.  My first was in Vegas with 6 guests.
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  • melissamc2melissamc2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're not having a ring bearer or flower girl (and yes, I have children), but I don't "miss" it one bit!   I don't care for children in weddings (as guests, I love it), but I felt obligated to, sort of, previously.

    Other than that...I actually believe everything is "more" this time around, so I can't imagine having missed anything!
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As posted below, I purposefully did everything differently for my beach wedding with no guests (not even 6:-) and no attendants.  It was a heck of a lot more romantic and meaningful than my first, mid-sized wedding. And yes, I wore a full length white dress (tea length the first time around).  I put a lot more into the actual ceremony than the first time--I just let the minister do whatever.  This time FI and I wrote the entire ceremony together.  Didn't wear shoes, and best of all, had a better groom!  :-) 
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  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    About the only thing I missed were my in-laws from the first wedding.  They were wonderful people, but died shortly before my second wedding.  We put a memorial to them into our program.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm having a very simple wedding (outlined below in the thread about weddings being productions) but I can really say I'm missing nothing.  :  )
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Off topic, but Jackie you and your fiance have the prettiest eyes!
  • edited December 2011
    I didn't have a bachlorette party the 1st time round and because my MOH is my only attendant and she lives 3hrs away I will probably not have one this time either. Other than that I'm not missing a thing!
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  • Ken&CassKen&Cass member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm also not having a bachelorette party this time.
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  • Sloane99Sloane99 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm definitely doing things differently this time around, no showers or bachelorette parties, no cake, dances or pretty princess day (I was a young first time bride) but as for actually missing anything, not a chance. This wedding is 100% me and my FI and we both have wonderful parents and friends that have offered to help where needed but have also supported us unconditionally in our wedding plans, even if they aren't exactly what they would have chosen for their children or friends.

    It is absolutely my perfect wedding and engagement and I wouldn't have it any other way. This is what I would have done the first time around (except a different groom, obviously!) if I had had the guts to stand up to my future MIL
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  • edited December 2011
    There isn't anything that I am really missing this time around.  I'm not having a shower but am fine with it as it would not be the same without my mother. 

    I am however having the wedding that my FI and I both want.  Most importantly our guest list does not include any "must" invites of people we don't know or like.  It will be our closest friends and family.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree completely with the PP.   I was young and lacked any sort of a backbone and allowed my XMIL to completely plan the wedding.  There were never any arguements about things - she suggested something and I went with it, as I was trying very hard to have a good relationship with her.   It was a perfect wedding, but it just really wasnt me.  I am proud to say that I am older and wiser.  I know love doesnt happen easily and I feel blessed to have found the man that makes waking up a joy.  There isn't anything I feel that I am missing out on, because I am a second time bride.  If anything, its much more freeing because I feel that there isn't anything I have to do, or can't do!
  • edited December 2011
    Marrin--Thanks!  Everyone says we look like brother and sister.  YOu can't see it in the photo but he has blond curly hair too.
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Well, brother and sister might be pushing it Jackie but the eyes are totally similar.
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is there anything I'm missing for this wedding?  Yeah, my dad, he loved my FI when we were teens and even asked about him before he passed away.  Dad wanted to make sure that we had gotten back in touch. My dad would be over the moon with this wedding and marriage.  I know he'll be there in spirit... 



  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Be missing my dad as well. He passed in October of '09, but he went knowing that his "girl" would be well cared for.
  • JennaHRJennaHR member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
     I'm having the wedding of my dreams this time around. My first was when I was 17, pregnant, and feeling very pressured with a three week timeline. My mother insisted we get married, so  I let her make all the arrangements. . I knew before I even said "I do" that I didn't want to marry my Ex. Most of my friends and family did not support the marriage, and would not attend, including my grandmother. That day was the hardest of my life, without question.
     
       I won't miss any of that!! 

     
  • edited December 2011
    I'm actually having more this time than last time. I did a planned elopement last time. This time I have people who want to hold showers, I have the chapel and reception and the whole nine yards. I'm excited!
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, I am missing the tradition of a Church ceremony.  I am Catholic and married in the Church the first time around.  After my divorce, I carefully considered annulment but decided against it, so I cannot marry in the Church.

    My fiance is Catholic (severely lapsed).  He does not want to marry in the Church.  He has married twice before, both times in a courthouse.

    We're doing "everything" different this time.  So, there will be no Church wedding, and no courthouse wedding.  We have chosen a historic venue and will marry on the terrace.  My cousin, who is a minister, will likely perform the ceremony.  It will be wonderful, eclectic ceremony -- I'm really looking forward to it.

    Here's the setting (we'll set the chairs in an oval, facing the canopy, which will be about 1/2 the depth of this one, instead of out to each side):


  • embracejoyembracejoy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Last time, I had the 5 bridesmaids, the 9 foot veil, the historical mansion wedding and reception, etc. 

    It wasn't really what I wanted.

    This time, the wedding is on the beach in Maui, wearing no shoes, with just immediate family and a hanfdul of friends standing around us while we are married.  It's exactly what we wanted... getting the husband I always wanted, this time, too! ;)

    I don't know if I'll get another bridal shower - my first one was pretty small and thrown together at the last minute - but it's really ok if I don't.  We don't need any household stuff, and I get really nervous opening gifts in front of people, anyway.

    It's funny, I'm just so content this time.. no nerves at all.. that all I can think about is the moment we become husband and wife.  That's the only detail that matters. :)
    we got it right the second time around! ten.twenty.twenty-ten. Anniversary
  • pst726pst726 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am having the wedding of my FI's dreams this time around. It is his first wedding and I felt like I could not take away all of the things that he has been dreaming of. He is such a big help in the planning process so I really have no complaints.

    I am getting to spend money on things that I did not have at my first wedding which is nice. I went strictly on price at my first wedding and this one, I get to do things that I want (even if they are silly or nonessential).

    I am having a much nicer wedding all around this time over my first wedding. But when I thought about a second marriage I saw myself on the beach with about 20 people. Now I will be in an elaborate church with about 200 people.

    And teh best part - my son is walking me down the aisle! I will have my 3 favorite people with me. My FI, my sona nd my daughter!
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